


Sick of Losing Soulmates

by AlNiCa



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drinking, M/M, Rating subject to change, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Tags will be updated, all characters are 21+, very vague jeith
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2019-09-28 20:36:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17189972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlNiCa/pseuds/AlNiCa
Summary: Shiro moves 1,200 miles away in hopes of a fresh start at a new school with the support of his siblings and 4 year old cat. His plans? Pass his classes, complete some lab work, maybe make some friends - but fate has other plans.It always has other plans.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to @mischieviolet1 (on twitter) for beta reading this for me! I know 1 language and I am terrible at writing in it (and speaking). I appreciate you so much <3

“You’re going to do great. Everything is going to go fine. You’re going to find your classes and Matt will be there to hang out before lab. It doesn’t matter that you’re older, this is going to be different than undergrad. Today is going to go great.”  
  
_There, good pep talk._    
  
Shiro sighed as he grabbed onto the sink, so why did he still feel like he was going to vomit? Being an older student, Undergrad had been a mess... not that 24 should’ve really counted as being “older,” but being 29 and just going into grad school should be normal, right? Totally fine, no one would bat an eyelash. This was going to be a lot smoother this time around. No one was going to single him out or exclude him from stupid study groups just because he didn’t binge drink on the weekends.  
  
Well, he hoped.  
  
He made eye contact with his cat Black, who just returned his gaze, emotionless. She was, in fact, the most helpful companion known to man (she had her moments where she showed she loved him too).  
  
“Any thoughts? Words of encouragement? This is a big day for me, you know.”  
  
Black started licking her paw instead of responding.  
  
Whatever, he had to leave now or he’d be late.  
  
Shiro double checked his schedule on his way from his car to make sure he was headed to the right building. It sucked that he had to miss orientation because of when he was moving and it sucked even more because now he had no idea where to go or who anyone was in his program on the first day. At least he knew the head of his lab and a few of the research assistants. There was also Matt and Pidge, the Holt siblings, who were basically _his_ siblings at this point. Unfortunately, Matt was two years ahead of him and Pidge was in a slightly different program than him (and seven years younger).  
  
Shiro finally found the classroom with three minutes to spare, not ideal for his first day or his anxiety, but he heard a certain gremlin beckon to him from the other end of the hall which helped calm him down. Pidge had decided to take his program’s core class on top of their own. They said it was because they wanted to learn as much as possible in as little time as possible. Shiro just assumed that they didn’t value their sanity as much as he did.  
  
Pidge was being trailed by one other person, who Shiro vaguely recognizes as their friend Hunk who they graduated from undergrad with the year prior. Hunk was actually in Shiro’s program, which made more sense as for why he was there.  
  
“Hey Shiro! I was just about to text you to make sure you found the room. This building is usually confusing, especially because the buildings around it are all named the same and the numbers aren’t in order.”  
  
“Yeah, I don’t know who thought putting them in order of 3, 2, 4, 5, and 1 was a good idea,” Hunk laughed, “Pidge said they mentioned me, but I’m Hunk, it’s nice to meet you.”  
  
Shiro shook the hand he held out and offered a smile, “Somehow I remembered with everything else they ramble on about when we’re together. It’s nice to finally meet you.”  
  
“Yeah, I know what you mean. Half the time I can’t even follow the conversation..”

“Hey!” Pidge yelled as they smacked his arm.  
  
They were about to enter the room when someone tried to sprint past them and knocked right into Shiro’s back. It unfortunately sent everything in his hands flying, including his phone and water bottle. Thankfully the phone survived, but his favorite water bottle was now damaged beyond repair (it was only a $20 bottle but he was emotionally attached at this point).  
  
“Oh shit - I’m so, so sorry. Here, let me get that for you.”  
  
The person rushing to make it to class on time went to reach for Shiro’s stuff, giving him the perfect angle to notice and then admire how absolutely gorgeous he was. He was wearing skin tight jeans that cut off at the knee and a red tank top that showed off his toned arms and a long string of tattoos that were doing something strange to Shiro’s heart. He had a small black septum ring and wore his long dark hair in a braid down his back. Also, his eyes. HIS EYES. There was no way they were actually purple, right? And his smile? _Oh no._  
  
Shiro really needed to compose himself in the next 3 seconds or Pidge was going to out him as a disaster on the first day of school.  
  
Maybe he could cancel his tuition payment and run home before he made a fool of himself? Oh wait, it was already taken out of his account. Can’t turn back now.  
  
The beautiful man stood up and handed him his belongings and apologized again.  
  
“It’s...uh... it’s no problem.”  
  
“I broke your water bottle, it’s kind of a problem. I can definitely get you a new one, I know these are kind of expensive.”  
  
“No no, it’s fine. It was an accident, don’t worry about it..uh..”  
  
“Keith, my names Keith. And seriously, just let me know and I can replace it.”  
  
“I promise, it’s fine. But uh... It’s nice to meet you Keith, I’m Shiro. This is Pidge and Hunk.”  
  
“Nice to meet you all. You guys all in this class too? I passed the professor on my way here so luckily we’re all on time. I was just being a dumbass this morning and forgot to download the textbook, which is partially why I was running here.”  
  
“Oh good, well not good for you, but good we’re all not late. I uh..”  
  
Shiro panicked, his brain couldn’t recall any words that he’s learned in the past 29 years of his life. It was like he was experiencing communicating like an adult for the first time all over again.  
  
“Why don’t we all sit together at the long table in the back? We were all probably going to stay together anyway, so you can join us Keith,” Pidge luckily chimed at the perfect time.  
  
“Oh, yeah, sure. I just moved here so I don’t really know anyone. I’d appreciate it.”  
  
Hunk sat on the right end of the table, Pidge next to him, and Keith took the left end. Shiro had a feeling Pidge strategically sat the way they did so Shiro could potentially embarrass himself more in front of Keith but he still appreciated the chance to talk to him some more.  
  
Unfortunately, when he was finally about to ask him something the professor finally walked in looking extremely frazzled with three pencils sticking out of her bun.  
  
“Hello grad students! I’m so sorry for being late. My car decided that today was the day that she was going to leave this cruel world, so I needed to hitch a ride from Professor Iverson. Give me 3 minutes to set up the projector and we will get rolling. In the meantime, try and move the tables in a U shape so we can all look at each other.”  
  
They lucked out since their table was already in the back, so Shiro turned to Keith, but he was already getting up.  
  
“Need a tissue, be right back.”  
  
Shiro gave him a thumbs up and then turned to Pidge and Hunk. Pidge has known Shiro for most of their life, more specifically from the age of 4 when Shiro moved right next door. They knew how his brain worked, so they must have figured out he was feeling a little flustered at the moment from a certain someone and decided to clue Hunk in since they were both giving him ridiculous shit eating grins.  
  
“No no, no no no, don’t even start.”  
  
“Shiro, I haven’t even said anything yet.”  
  
“I know that face and I know what you’re thinking. You know we talked about this and I said no to dating, especially not with someone I just met 7 minutes ago.”  
  
They stared Shiro down for a bit before exhaling out a long and dramatic sigh, “ _Fine_... but I reserve the right to tell Matt about the new boy who’s butt you ogled.”  
  
“Hey, I did not!”  
  
“Did not what?”  
  
Wonderful, amazing timing on Keith’s part, “Oh uh, nothing. Pidge and I were just talking about our brother Matt. He’s a couple of years ahead of us in another program here.”  
  
“Oh, sweet. That’s cool that y’all came to the same school.”  
  
“Yeah, we kind of forced Shiro to.”  
  
Shiro’s defense of being “forced” was cut off by the professor finally starting class. She introduced herself as Professor Montgomery and started going over the syllabus. It was relatively short and very self-explanatory. 2 exams, 1 paper, 1 presentation, nothing too crazy in Shiro’s opinion.  
  
“For the presentation, I would love for you guys to pair up, but I fully respect that not everyone works well in group projects so you’re allowed to go it alone. I’m hoping to get topic choices up this weekend and you all can say who your partner is and what you’ll be working on this semester.”  
  
Shiro overheard Hunk and Pidge high fiving, so he assumed they’d already solidified their 15 week partnership. He was starting to consider the pros and cons of working alone when he felt Keith poke his left arm.  
  
“Hey, you can totally think about it, but I’d definitely be down to work together if you want? I do my part in a group, so you don’t have to worry about that.”  
  
Keith’s smile was so lovely, and he looked so genuinely interested when he asked Shiro that there was no way he could deny him, even if he wanted to.  
  
“Yeah, that sounds great. Let’s exchange contact info before we leave.”  
  
Keith gave him another brilliant smile before they returned to the professor’s interesting tangent. Something about giant robots being sent into space soon. Not entirely sure how that connects to a biology based program, but cool to talk about nonetheless.

Shiro zoned out part way through thinking about what Pidge said, or rather, implied. He already had this talk with them and Matt when they helped him finish moving in over the weekend. For years their parents have been encouraging Shiro to try and put himself out there even after everything that happened with his soulmates, but he hadn’t been ready and he still isn’t. Matt thought going to a new school would be a great time to start over, but Shiro still had issues being alone with himself, nevermind forcing someone to have to deal with him too. His past hadn’t been the best, and he was still trying to move on from it.  
  
He was luckily cut off from his spiraling thoughts by class getting dismissed for the day. When he started to pack up, Keith handed him his phone with a contact card already pulled up.  
  
“Texting might be easiest, but feel free to add your email too in case I need to send a file or something.”  
  
“Oh yeah, sure. Here, let me grab my phone.”  
  
They exchanged numbers and the four got up to leave. Shiro was supposed to meet Matt for lunch in the campus center before his ethics class. He waved to Keith (and definitely did not blush at his smile) as he departed from their small group and quickly dodged Pidge even though they knew exactly where he was going and could follow if they so desired.

  
  
He found Matt in line to get some overpriced campus sushi after he’d panicked and bought a sandwich because there were too many options. They thankfully sat at a table so far in the corner that Shiro was actually touching the wall; the morning thus far was so much more overwhelming than planned so he had no issues with the location.  
  
“So, Pidge said you found a man,” he started extremely nonchalantly while dunking a philly roll into way too much soy and then shoving it into his mouth.    
  
Shiro groaned in response. Of course Pidge had already notified Matt about the happenings of their first class together.  
  
“I did not find a man. A possible friend maybe. I already told Pidge no.”  
  
“You sure? Pidge said it looked pretty serious. Said he got down on one knee and everything.”  
  
Shiro rolled his eyes, “He got down on one knee because he ran into me and made me drop my stuff. He was picking it up for me.”  
  
“But you also got his number.”  
  
“Jesus, did they give you a play by play?” Shiro huffed out while taking a dramatic bite from his sandwich.  
  
“Uh, basically. We told you to set up your iMessage on your computer for a reason. You’d be in the loop more if you did.”  
  
“You know I’d get distracted and end up sending you more cat videos than normal if I had more access to our group chat.” Shiro sighed, “He’s very nice and we exchanged numbers because we’re going to work on our final project together. Also, we already talked about this.”  
  
“Well, we may have talked about it but it’s not going to stop mom from calling you every week to ask if you’re ‘branching out’ and trying to ‘socialize’,” Matt said while picking a piece of rice out of his teeth, “but we talked about opening up your horizons a little bit, don’t shut anything down before it even happens. Sure, this guy could be straighter than dad and nothing will come of it, but you’re a great guy and would be my first choice if I was ever interested in dick. You need to have more confidence in yourself.”  
  
“Wow, that was touching and also super strange seeing as I’m practically your older sibling. Anyways, I need to get to my ethics class so I’ll see you later for dinner at Pidge’s.”  
  
“Yeah yeah, hopefully we don’t die of food poisoning from whatever they’re cooking.”  
  
Shiro snorted, “What a way to go.”

  
  
This time Shiro made it to class with 15 minutes to spare. He even had time to give himself another pep talk in the bathroom on the way there. The first day was always stressful, especially when you knew almost no one and had no idea where anything was. He at least was promised cookies and cream ice cream for dessert tonight as a means to get through the day.  
  
He strategically sat at a small table in the middle of the room, not wanting to be in the back for all of his classes. Ethics seems like a safe class to sit closer, there isn’t too much that he can look like a fool talking about, he hopes.  
  
He was just finishing answering an email from his lab manager about when he was going to be working in lab when someone sat in the chair to his left and basically died when he looked up and saw Keith’s beautiful, smiling face.  
  
“Keith, hey. You’re in this class too?”  
  
“Yeah! It’s a first year requirement and I just so happened to pick it at the same time slot as you.”  
  
“Oh cool, that’s great. I know Pidge and Hunk had to switch to a different time so I thought I’d be alone. Nice to know I’m not.”  
  
“Same, I only know my two roommates who I met on Craigslist, like two professors, and this old lady who runs the deli across the street from our apartment. I don’t know why I thought moving across the country was a good idea.”  
  
“Where’d you move from?”  
  
“California. I was about an hour out of LA. My dumb ass just really wanted to experience the seasons, so here I am.”  
  
“Yeah, the seasons are pretty nice. Fall and winter can be really beautiful, but you probably won’t be that excited when it starts to snow. I moved here recently too, from Florida, but I have my siblings up here with me at least. Though, I doubt I’d hand out with them much since I’m not really into going out that much and they’re so ‘young and fun’.” He said in air quotes.  
  
Keith chuckled at his dramatics before he asked, “If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you?”  
  
“29, I know the all white hair makes me look older but I just can’t be bothered to dye it.” He said while brushing his bangs out of his face.  
  
“Hey, 29 is NOT old. I’m 25, so you’re not that much older than I am,” he smiled and looked up at his head, “and the white hair suits you. It somehow makes you seem younger.”  
  
_Younger?_ Shiro had to laugh at that response, “Wow, I haven’t gotten that before. Thanks.”  
  
“No problem, I... oh no.”  
  
Keith paused mid-sentence and stared horrified at the door to the room. Shiro followed his eyes to see a skinny guy walking in and scanning the other tables. He could feel Keith try and hide around him, but the guy spotted and zeroed in on him before he could move.  
  
He power walked his way over to their table with a rare confidence Shiro wasn’t used to seeing and dramatically sat down on the other side of Keith. Luckily, it was a square table, so Shiro had full view of the new arrival.  
  
“Keith?! What are the chances that we would be at the same school? I thought when we graduated 3 years ago I’d never get to see you and your mullet again!”  
  
Shiro could see Keith sinking into his chair a bit and crossing his arms out of the corner of his eye.  
  
“It’s not a mullet...” Keith grumbled out.  
  
“Well, it’s definitely got a lot longer, but it was a mullet, my dude.”  
  
Keith looked up at the ceiling to compose himself for a second before returning his eyes back to the guy.  
  
“I decided last minute to apply and didn’t really tell anyone besides family when I got in. I didn’t see why it was important since I wasn’t particularly close with anyone on campus.”  
  
“Close? We hung out constantly!” the guy replied, practically flailing his arms.  
  
“Lance, we played soccer together. That doesn’t really count as hanging out.”  
  
“Pffft details, details. So, who’s this hunk of a man sitting next to you?” He finally looked to Shiro while wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.  
  
“Uh, this is Shiro. He’s in my program. We just met today so uh..”  
  
Shiro, as much as he was being entertained by this extroverted newcomer, decided to cut Keith some slack and join the conversation, “Hi, nice to meet you. Lance right?”  
  
Lance shook the hand he held out for him, only briefly pausing when he noticed the metal that made up his right arm.  
  
“Nice to meet you too. Has anyone told you that you have the most beautiful eyes?”  
  
“I uh...” Oh god, his face was definitely red, “No,” he cleared his throat, “I don’t think so, no. But uh, thanks.”  
  
“Lance, you’re making him uncomfortable. Can you go 10 minutes without flirting with someone?”  
  
“I can, for the record. And I’m just trying to be nice. Now, give me your phone.”  
  
Keith sputtered out a confused, “What? Why?”  
  
“I’m going to add my number. So we can hang out, duh.”  
  
Lance snatched it before Keith had a second to respond. It seemed he also didn’t have a lock on it so Lance was able to quickly add his contact to the phone.  
  
“Here. Now, my new friend is throwing a party with his roommate this weekend and you should definitely come. Shiro, you too. You seem like a fun time. I’ll text you details.”  
  
Keith somehow seemed to mope more than he already was, “You know I don’t like parties.”  
  
“Yeah, but you’re hilarious drunk and I miss that in my life.”  
  
Keith looked to Shiro who just gave him a quick shrug.  
  
“I don’t see why not? I’m not working this weekend and Pidge will probably force me to go once they hear about it.”  
  
“Ugh, fine. We’ll go.”  
  
“Hmm, I like how this is already a We situation. Nice job Keith, you’re getting better at your choices in partners.”  
  
“What?! I.. I uh... what?!”  
  
Shiro was saved from responding to that by the professor walking in. He wanted to jump right into the syllabus so they could get out of there so they had no time to continue that thought. He couldn’t help but notice how bright red Keith’s face still was.  
  
After class they got to walk out together. It seemed less by accident and more intentional. Shiro was trying not to read into how Keith was walking with him towards his car to keep their conversation going rather than getting to his car to get home.  
  
Conversation flowed easily between them, and Shiro especially appreciated Keith’s dry sense of humor. Shiro’s afraid to admit that he hadn’t felt this comfortable around someone new since... nope, still too afraid to admit it.  
  
This was nothing. A new friend. Someone closer in age to him, in his class, that he can get to know and be friends with. Absolutely no ulterior motives.  
  
“So this is my car. Do you want a ride to your car?” Shiro said as they finally reached his spot.  
  
“Oh, I actually walked today. I live pretty close to campus so I just didn’t bother driving in,” he huffed out a laugh, “which is also why I was almost late this morning. I kept getting lost trying to find the building.”  
  
“Yeah, me too. Well I’m glad we _ran_ into each other today.”  
  
Keith smiled, but then looked slightly horrified, “Oh no, was that a joke? RAN into each other? Oh man Shiro, I don’t know if we can be friends if you make lame dad jokes.”  
  
“Hey now, my jokes aren’t lame!”  
  
Keith squeezed his thumb and pointer finger together, “Little bit.”  
  
“You’ll come to enjoy them. Now, can I give you a ride or are you going to be stubborn and walk?”  
  
Keith laughed, “Fine, I’ll let you give me a ride. Thanks.”  
  
When they got to Keith’s apartment, which was ridiculously close to campus, he thanked Shiro again and got out. Shiro waved as he walked in the building and absolutely did not check out his ass.

  
  
By the time he got home and changed into something comfier, it was about time to head over to Pidge’s place for some dinner.  Shiro wanted to just stay in, but during the day their parents insisted that they let them pay for dinner so they all can relax on their first day as grad students.  
  
Shiro got there as Pidge was trying to open up a bottle of wine. Matt was sprawled on the shitty couch Hunk found on the side of the road, and Hunk was getting some plates out of the cabinet.  
  
Pidge was the first to notice him and waved but then thought better and beckoned him over to help with the bottle.  
  
“It’s the first day and you’re already turning to booze?”  
  
“It’s just wine, and I’m celebrating.”  
  
“I thought we were celebrating this weekend at the party?” Matt called over from the couch.  
  
“Well yeah, but we’re adults, we can celebrate multiple times because we deserve it.”  
  
“What party?” Shiro inquired. He wonders if it’s the same one Lance randomly invited them to.  
  
“We’re throwing a small party with our cohort and Pidge’s. It’ll only be like 20 people, so not too crazy.”  
  
“You wouldn’t happen to have invited someone named Lance?”  
  
“You know Lance?” Hunk asked surprised.  
  
“He was in my ethics course. He invited Keith and I.”  
  
“KEITH.” Pidge shrieked.  
  
Shiro sighed, “Yes, Keith. He was in my class and we sat with each other. I guess he and Lance went to undergrad together. He doesn’t seem too fond of Lance though.”  
  
“So are you coming to the party? WITH Keith?” Matt yelled from the couch.  
  
“Guys, this isn’t high school. I’m not going to date someone I just met because he’s nice and I think he’s attractive.”  
  
“But you’ve definitely hooked up with guys you just met because they’re nice and you think they’re attractive.” Matt pointed out, still on half the damn couch, now half on the floor.  
  
“I know, but that was before.. ya know.” He held up his hand, hoping it would be enough of an explanation.  
  
“It’s been like 8 years, you can’t keep using that as an excuse to not let yourself live your life. You have a new mark, we’re going to find this handsome gentleman and you are going to love him forever and mom is finally going to get grandchildren.”  
  
“Matt...”  
  
“Don’t Matt me mister! We’ve already been through everything with you. We know how your brain works. We’ll get there. We’re not talking about marrying him now, but if you think he’s cute give it a chance.”  
  
He sighed, “I don’t even know if he likes men.”  
  
Hunk snorted, “Sorry, but did you see the way he was looking at you? He’s definitely interested.” 

“See! Even Hunk noticed!”

Shiro struggled to reply but was saved by the pizza delivery. He knew that at some point he’d date again, he might even be ready for it now, he’s just been too scared to try.

He looked down at his metal arm as everyone was gathering around the island to get their slices. Not many people knew, outside of his family, how or why he lost it. He’d been through more pain than most 29 year olds and for a long time had been adamant about how being alone was okay with him. No one could leave him if he was alone. He didn't have the chance of getting hurt if he was single.

He unconsciously placed his hand over his heart, where a vibrant and beautifully detailed rose lay. After everything he’s been through he knows it’s reasonable to be a little nervous to fall for someone with the chance that they could break his heart, literally and figuratively.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping to update once a week on Thursdays, stay tuned to see if that really happens.
> 
> I know commenting can be hard and can require a lot of energy - emojis or emoticons, even a simple heart, means so much to me and are all 100% considered a comment that will bring joy to my heart!
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments or yell at me on social media!  
> Twitter: nax_zela  
> Let me know if you ever need me to tag something!
> 
> (15 points to whoever can tell me what school I'm referencing)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a first successful week of classes, Shiro ventures over to Pidge and Hunk's house to try and enjoy a party with people he barely knew. Alcohol is drank and the beginnings of friendships are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! Enjoy the shenanigans.
> 
> Again, thank you Violet for being The Best Beta Ever and an amazing pal  
> Twitt @mischieviolet1, AO3 @mischieviolet

It was Saturday night and Shiro was incredibly unprepared to be around a bunch of potentially drunk people he barely knew in a pretty small apartment. The rest of his week went well, especially his lab work, and he actually enjoyed his classes, but he had spent a lot of his extrovert points to get through it. He was trying to focus on the positives while getting ready, one being that Pidge got his favorite type of soda. Another being that Keith was going to be there. 

Over the week he’d been enjoying getting to know Keith more and learning small things about him. Like that he had a giant dog named Kosmo back home, his favorite color was red, and that he had three black belts and could kill a man with one hand. That last one really interested Shiro, for self-defense reasons, obviously.

He really liked being friends with him. They even got lunch together one day in between their classes and then Keith showed him around his lab. It was nice just to meet someone and them not know anything about you. Nothing embarrassing, which is a plus, but also none of his past. It was like starting over, like Matt said, and it felt really good. He could just be Shiro the Regular Guy for the first time in a long time. 

Now, the issue at hand. 

He was currently deciding between a black t-shirt or a red v-neck. He knew if he wore the red it could potentially be seen as trying too hard, but Keith could also appreciate that he remembered that he loves red. The black t-shirt was safe, but he knew that it looked decently nice on his figure. On the other hand, he could choose neither and go with the olive green button down Colleen gave him for his birthday last year that she said “really brought out his eyes.”

He plopped back down on the bed holding all shirts in hand. He sighed, fashion was the worst.

He gave up and texted Matt for advice, who made fun of him a little bit but then said for him to go with the button down. And then to get his ass over there because he was going to be late for being early to help set up (which was ultimately his goal). 

The next issue was whether he wanted to throw on some eyeliner and brow gel. He usually did for special occasions but was worried it wouldn’t be received well. After long deliberation, he decided sleepy Shiro would be too lazy to take it off, so he filled Black’s food and water bowls and headed out.

He got to Pidge’s at 7:30, a half hour before the party officially started. Matt gave him a suggestive whistle as he walked in that he actively chose to ignore and handed over the brownies he made to Hunk.

Pidge peered over Shiro’s shoulder from their spot on a stool, “Those wouldn’t happen to be special brownies, would they?”

“Just because I smoke doesn’t mean I’m going to pay my hard earned money so people I don’t know could act like fools in your living room.”

“Fair, but we should make some next weekend.”

“Oh, we can finally catch up on Game of Thrones, too.”

“You two STILL haven’t caught up!?” Matt yelled from down the hall on his quest to find more paper plates.

“We’ve been busy applying to school and moving north and dealing with mom crying because all of her children have finally left the nest for good.” Pidge responded around a mouthful of M&Ms.

“Also, you never told us your new HBO password so how were we supposed to watch it with no login? Hmm?” Shiro added.

“You can pay for your own like a goddamn ADULT. Also, I know Pidge could’ve hacked in if they wanted to.”

“Good argument, solid defense. Shiro, we could’ve just hacked in.”

“But now we can all watch it together, as a family. And force Hunk to join us.”

Hunk peered over from where he was making a very interesting concoction of alcohol and juices, “No thanks, too much blood and guts. Someone told me what happens in season 4 episode 8, I don’t think I can handle that.”

Shiro had a full body shiver, “Oh god, why did you remind me of that. I wasn’t able to sleep for a week. Oh god, Matt, please kill me now.”

The doorbell rang before he had a chance to respond, “Nope, especially since it looks like a certain someone is here.”

Shiro yelled, “What?!” In a way that didn’t help his defense for not being interested in dating at the moment. 

A couple of seconds later Matt returned with Keith  _ and _ Lance, and Shiro had to admit Keith looked amazing (in his completely unbiased opinion). Lance said hi to everyone and quickly made his way over to Hunk to give him the extra bottles of vodka he snuck in. Shiro got a chance to admire Keith as he said hi to Pidge. 

He had no idea when he came to find cut off overalls cute but wow, Keith looked super adorable in them (as much as a 25 year old could look adorable). He had on a black undershirt and his hair back in a braid, per usual. It took until now to notice the tattoo on the back of his calf of a beautifully detailed lion all in red ink. 

He didn’t know if he necessarily had a type, but it was getting harder and harder to deny to his family and Hunk that if he did have a type, Keith was definitely it.

He finally turned around and made his way around the counter to where Shiro was helping cut up some cheese. 

“Hey, Shiro. Long time, no see.” He said as he bumped his shoulder and leaned against the counter next to him.

“I know, what’s it been? 36 hours now?”

“An eternity it seems. My day was particularly boring not having you in one of my classes. I forgot how much I hated statistics. Also, why the fuck do I have it 4 times a week?” 

“4 times a week? Which one are you taking?”

“The one they recommended? I don’t know, I just went with it because I was already in a panic with finding roommates.”

“See if you can switch into mine, it’s only twice a week because they care about our sanity and I think there’s still room.”

“Haha! Funny. Yeah send me the class code and I’ll look. Thanks,” he picked up a piece of cheese Shiro was finishing up cutting, “Cheese and crackers? Definitely trying to play up the whole adult thing, huh?”

“I don’t know, Hunk’s idea. I thought we should just order pizza and call it a night.”

“Hm, I do enjoy a good pizza. I’m quickly learning it’s much better quality on this side of the country.”

“If you think this is good you should try some in CT and New York. Even better quality.”

“Well then, I guess we’ll need to go on an adventure soon in search of good pizza as a celebration after an exam or something.” 

The conversation had been going so well that it took that statement to realize what Shiro just suggested. 

An adventure. Several hour car ride adventure.  _ With Keith _ . 

“Yeah,” voice cracking minimally, “That’ll be fun.”

“What’ll be fun? You’re not planning on sneaking off once more people get here, are you? You promised you’d stay until at least 11,” Matt said as he came to sit near where they were standing. 

“We were actually talking about a road trip for quality pizza. Shiro suggested Connecticut and New York. You should come!” Keith said excitedly, not noticing the slight disappointment in Shiro’s face at the suggestion of having more people accompanying them. 

“Oh that’s a great idea. Hunk, Pidge, we’re going on a road trip sometime soon for pizza!”

“Can Lance come?”

Keith groaned as Matt agreed, Shiro leaned over to whisper, “If I drive, you can sit in front with me.”

Keith thanked him in relief, and soon enough the entire house was filled with people Shiro vaguely recognized.

Most of the those who showed were from Pidge’s cohort, whose names he only vaguely remembered, besides Rollo, Nyma, and a really beautiful woman with long platinum hair named Allura. A couple he recognized from his own, like Plaxum who also brought her partner. Someone at some point put on a 2000 hip hop/pop mix which seemed to be a good choice for the group gathered. 

Shiro tried to stay involved and actively listen to the conversations around him, but if he wasn’t paying attention to Keith or near Matt he wasn’t really interested. Parties weren’t one of his top choices of activities and he was nearing his threshold for how much socializing he could manage. He could only respond "Yes, I'm from Florida. No, not near Disney" so many times without bashing his head against the wall.

He was making his way to the bathroom for a short escape when Keith walked out. He looked a little frazzled, which concerned Shiro.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Oh, yeah. Don’t worry, just had to take a phone call. I forgot the time difference and didn’t realize they were going to be calling while I was here. No biggy. You want another drink? I’ll get you one while you take care of business.”

Shiro contemplated saying something else, but they still barely knew each other and if Keith wasn’t comfortable offering the information it wasn’t Shiro’s place to push. 

“Yeah sure, not whatever Hunk made though. I’m too old for all that sugar. Just a jack and coke?”

Keith saluted him before he started down the hall, “You got it.”

While in the bathroom Shiro tried to fix his hair a bit from where the gel was coming out. He’d come to like styling his bangs back, but whatever product Sam had picked up for him must have been expired since it no longer held the bangs in place for long. After rummaging through Hunk’s stuff he gave up and ended up brushing them out and letting them flop forward. Best to commit to a hairstyle instead of letting the mess do as it pleases.

When he got back out he noticed that a fair share of people had already left. It was nearing midnight, so it made sense. While Shiro remembered parties going much later when he was younger, he guesses the first week stress was really getting to everyone.

His friend group, plus a couple of extras (including Allura, who Lance was currently trying to impress), were sitting around the various mismatched couches and bean bag chairs. Keith graciously saved him a spot on a loveseat in the corner so they could talk privately but still be involved in the group. 

He handed Shiro the drink he made him once he sat down and informed him that they were trying to decide on a drinking game to play. He also commented that his hair looked cute, which definitely did NOT make him blush. The game sounded like a terrible idea.

“Oh! Never have I ever! A perfect way to get to know each other!”

“Lance, we’re adults. Are we really in the mood for a drinking game? Why don’t we all just hang out.” Pidge asked, even though they were barely 22 and the youngest in the room.

“Hey, it could be fun. We don’t have to make it dirty. Here, I’ll start. Wait, rules first since Pidge likes to cheat..” (“HEY!”) “Everyone gets 5 fingers, and whoever loses them all first, has to take a shot. Usually, it’s take a shot every finger but I don’t feel like driving anyone home and we don’t have room for you to all crash here,” Matt so graciously explained the rules, “Now, never have I ever fallen off a horse.”

Shiro gasped, “That was targeted. Unfair.”

“There’s no target rules, put a finger down!”

Shiro groaned but did as told. Keith was smiling next to him and gave him a questioning look. 

“I’ll tell you later,” he whispered, “well since Matt is to my left I’ll go next I guess. Never have I ever dyed my hair.”

“Ugh, what happened to ‘that’s targeted and unfair’?” Pidge asked as they tugged on the bright green streak pinned back with the rest of their hair. 

“How the hell is your hair not dyed?! It’s bright white?!” Lance interjected.

“Ah yes, young one, Shiro here was born with white hair. Totally natural. No genetic or traumatic reason for his pure white locks,” Matt supplied.

Shiro shrugged, “Need to unlock friendship level 4 to obtain that backstory, sorry. Keith, you’re next.”

“Hm, okay...,” he chuckled to himself before continuing, “Never have I ever gotten dumped, then gotten so drunk at a party that I woke up the next day butt naked on the soccer field, and then vomited on our RD.”

Lance glared at Keith as he lowered a finger, “That was low. Just you wait until my turn, mullet.”

“Oh shit, I forgot you guys know each other from before. We need to dig up some more embarrassing stories,” Pidge giggled maniacally with glee at the prospects of having more blackmail. 

“I haven’t really done anything too embarrassing that Lance would know about. Besides that time I accidentally hooked up with a professor.”

“Keith, you did WHAT?” Lance practically yelled.

“Oh, you didn’t hear about that? Yeah, so we both went to a big school and obviously there was no way to know all the professors. One weekend when practically everyone went home I was bored and went out to a bar, met someone, went home with him. The next day I woke up and saw his faculty name tag, panicked, and ran out of there. Never had him for a class but kept seeing him in the library, which was still mortifying.” 

“Was it as least worth it?”

“Eh, not the worst but definitely not my top 5.”

Shiro felt his phone vibrate, so he checked it quickly as Keith and Lance finished their conversation. 

 

_ Fam _

_ Matt: _ so he DOES like men

_ Pidge: _ perfect, amazing, stupendous 

_ Matt: _ operation: get Shiro a man, a go

 

He looked up in time to glare at Matt before Pidge decided to take their turn.

“Never have I ever... hmmm... kissed a man.”

“One, I thought we were staying appropriate. Two -  rude,” Hunk said as he finally put down a finger. 

Shiro was now down to three but was surprised when he noticed Keith also had three left. 

He gave him a questioning look, “My uncle has a lot of horses,” he answered with a shrug. 

“Allura, your turn!”

“Oh right, hm, never have I ever been in a relationship longer than 6 months.”

“I can change that for you, beautiful.” Lance quickly replied, Shiro could barely hear it over the annoyed groan Keith let out.

Aside from how lame the comment was, Allura seemed to be blushing. Shiro partially hoped it was from the wine she was sipping and not because she was actually impressed by that (good for Lance if she was, though). 

“Ah yes, wonderful, my turn,” Lance started while looking at Keith, “Never have I ever had a threesome with two of my exes.”

“I regret opening the door to talking about my sex life.” Keith groaned while flopping his head on the back of the couch.

“Why two of your exes?” Hunk inquired.

“It was break up sex, I took my stuff and left shortly after.”

“Were you dating both at the same time or at different times?” 

“I just met most of you, I rather not give myself a reputation already.” 

“Hey, we are queer, sex, and poly positive in this household, my friend. Don’t you worry,” Matt said as he went in to cheers Keith. 

Keith chuckled as he returned the gesture, “Well, I appreciate that. Thanks, I guess.”

“ANYWAYS, never have I ever had an allergic reaction,” Hunk said to continue the game.

From there the game basically dissolved into embarrassing stories and mindless chatter. At some point, Keith and Shiro started talking amongst themselves and barely noticed the rest of the guests getting up to leave. 

“Oh shit, what time is it?” He asked after watching Keith yawn for the fourth time in a row.

“About 2 am,” Pidge shouted from the kitchen. 

“Hm, I don’t know if I’m sober enough to drive, how are you doing?” Keith asked Shiro.

“Oh I’m doing alright, I stopped drinking a while ago. Need a ride?”

“Yeah, that’d be great. I’ll just come back tomorrow for my bike.”

“Bike?”

“Yeah, I got a motorcycle. Kind of a family tradition. Drove her cross country and just shipped my stuff. I can take you for a ride sometime if you’d like.” 

“Oh, he’d like.” Matt drunkenly mumbled from his place face down on the bean bag chair.

“Well, on that note - Pidge, Hunk we’re leaving. Thanks for the party, it was actually sort of fun.” 

“Yeah yeah, we know. Drive safe you too,” Pidge said, “Ugh Hunk, I couldn’t think of driving this late. The youths are too much these days.”

 

 

They both laughed as they got their things and walked to Shiro’s car.

“Pidge and Matt are great, and Hunk seems pretty cool. I really liked that Allura girl too. I didn’t get a chance to talk to her much but she got Lance to shut up, which makes her okay in my book.”

“Yeah, they all seemed pretty cool. And Pidge and Matt are the siblings I always wanted but got very late in life.” 

“Not to pry, but were you adopted or something?”

“Uh, something like that. I went to live with them full time around age 17.”

“Gotcha, that’s cool. My sister, Axca, was adopted at like 15. It’s great that they took you in, I know how hard it is for older kids to find a family. Are their parents as cool as them?”

“Luckily I didn’t have to wait long to move in with them, but that’s a story for another day. And yeah, Sam is hilarious and Colleen is the sweetest woman you’d ever meet. They’re great people.”

“Mmm, that’s great,” Keith got settled and paused for a while before asking if he could play some music. 

“Depends, what do you listen to?”

“Guess.”

“Guess?”

“Yeah, guess. Everyone guesses wrong, by the way. So good luck.”

“Alright, let me think on it then.” Shiro paused for dramatic effect, “I have a feeling most people think you listen to classic rock.”

“Correct.”

“But your soul aches for some funky beats.”

He got a good laugh at that, “You could say that.”

“Not too funky, a good balance of funky and chill.”

“Hm, I’d say that’s a good guess."

“I have a feeling that you listen to a lot of The Weeknd.”

“Okay, how the FUCK did you guess that. There’s no way you just pulled that out of your ass, Shiro!”

“Haha, yeah you left your Spotify open when you showed me something on your computer on Thursday. Definitely saw you were listening to his Trilogy album and I might have fallen in love.”

_ Wait… Oh my GOD, did I really just say that?! Way to be casual, Shiro. Please don’t take that weird. Shit shit shit.  _ He could feel his palm start to sweat at his internal panic.

“Well, it is some of his best work,” Keith replied, seemingly not phased by Shiro’s weird response.  _ Thank god. _

“How do you feel about Starboy?”

“Truthfully, I love all of his work equally. It’s like they’re all my children and I love them with my whole heart.”

“Wow, I’ve never met someone who agreed with me on that.”

“It seems we have similar tastes in music, I guess I’ll keep you.” 

Shiro laughed, “Oh? Was that the deciding factor?”

“Yup,” he replied with a pop at the end, “You’ve passed the initial round of tests. Now onto stage two.”

“Well, I’ll be sure to prepare myself then,” Shiro replied as he pulled up to Keith’s complex.

“Thanks again for the ride, Shiro. I’ll see you Monday.”

“Yeah, have a good rest of your weekend.”

“You too!” 

He got out and half jogged to the stairs up to his place. Shiro waited to watch him go inside but stopped as he started to pull away because Keith came running back out. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked as Keith approached the window.

“My roommate currently has 10 people in there and it looks like a fucking orgy. I am horrified and don’t know how to handle this situation at 2:30 am. Is there any way I can crash at your place?”

Shiro started dying, there was NO way you could make that up. He wiped the tears falling from his eyes and he motioned for Keith to get back in.

“Yeah, laugh it up. You’re SO lucky you live alone. I’ve never seen so many butts in my life. I might be traumatized, Shiro. I have to SIT on that couch. Hey! Stop laughing at my pain!”

“Sorry, sorry,” He managed to get out while barely being able to breathe, “I just never in a million years expected you to say that.”

“I never expected to see it either, but we all can’t get what we want.”

They drove back to Shiro’s place in a comfortable silence after the laughing subsided. When they got in Shiro went to grab some clothes for Keith to sleep in.

“I might have an extra toothbrush too, let me check.”

“Thank god, my mouth still tastes like that fireball shot Pidge made me take.”

“I am so glad I was able to avoid that.”

“I guess you say you’re driving and all of a sudden you’re exempt from all the torture,” Keith said while dramatically waving his hands in the air.

Shiro poked his head back around the corner, “Would you rather have to sleep listening to 10 people get off?” 

“Never mind, you’re the best. I owe you my life and innocence.”

Shiro finished getting the pull out ready as Keith got ready for bed. He’s glad he decided on this couch, assuming he’d need it for Pidge or Matt if they wanted to stay over. It came in handy quicker than he expected. Just then, Black decided to poke her head up from the back of the armchair. 

“Oh, hey darlin’. Were you hiding from our guest?” as he walked over to pick her up. She’d always been a little shy around new people but had a keen sense of who was a good victim to plop her body on top of. 

“Who are you talking to?” Keith questioned as he walked out in Shiro’s sweatshirt and shorts, both of which were barely hanging onto his smaller frame in a way that was cute but also incredibly attractive. 

It took Shiro a second for his mind to reboot, “Oh, uh, this is my cat. She came with me all the way from Florida. Her name is Black and I’ve had her for about 3 years. She’s a little shy but super sweet.”

“I love cats, she’s so cute.” Keith slowly walked up to offer his hand for Black to sniff. She was wary, but quickly approved of him giving her some pets since he seemed to know the proper etiquette to approaching the queen of the house. 

“Oh wow, she likes you. That’s a high honor. She likes to roam at night, so I hope you don’t mind if she tries to insert herself in your blankets.”

“I would love it actually, please feel free to come snuggle, Black.”

They talked for a few more minutes before Shiro started yawning full force. He got up to finish putting things on the pull out before heading to his room.

“How many pillows do you need?”

“Just one is fine, thanks.”

“Alright, cool. Feel free to raid the kitchen if you need some water or something. Let me know if you need anything, I’ll be right down the hall."

“Thanks Shiro, I appreciate it. A lot.”

“It’s no problem. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Shiro.”

Shiro kept the small smile on his face as he walked down the hall from his room. He was dead tired but barely slept knowing that Keith was sleeping just a few feet down the hall from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyways, hc that Shiro blasts Outkast while serenading Black in the comfort of his own home with just boxers on because he is a man of Taste.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this update!! Again, let me know if you ever need me to tag something.
> 
> I know commenting can be hard and can require a lot of energy - emojis or emoticons, even a simple heart, means so much to me and are all 100% considered a comment that will bring joy to my heart!
> 
> Schedule update: I realized "Thursday" meant nothing if you had no idea what time zone I'm in. Thursday nights EST. Also, my thesis defense is the 17th, so posting might be delayed that week. 
> 
> Let me know what you thought below, or come say hi!  
> Twitter: nax_zela  
> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro makes some discoveries that he's not too happy about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Violet for helping me make complete sentences and for helping me figure out what this chapter needed to feel finished <3

Shiro woke up confused, not knowing when he finally fell asleep. The drool pooled on his pillow suggested that he had gotten some sleep; the headache, however, suggested otherwise. He contemplated whether he should just stay in bed all day or force himself up to actually take care of himself.

Decision made to get up, on his way to the bathroom he caught the scent of fresh coffee coming from his kitchen, confusing him even more. It took him until he finally got to the kitchen and heard the banging of pots and pans to remember he had a guest the night prior. 

When he walked in, Keith was busy reading directions from the back of the pancake mix box Shiro didn’t remember picking up, but at that moment was glad he did because pancakes sounded _ amazing _ .

“Goodmorning, you making breakfast?” He asked, voice still raspy from sleep, causing Keith to jump in surprise.

“Oh! Hey, good morning. I was trying to, at least. I’ve been rummaging around your cabinets for ingredients and pans, I hope I didn’t wake you with the noise.”

“No you’re fine, and I love pancakes. I’ll get some milk and spray out for the pan.”

They worked together in comfortable silence to make a bountiful breakfast full of pancakes, blueberries, and giant cups of coffee. Keith also requested some advil and downed several glasses of water.

“I can not drink like I could when I was in undergrad, shit. I don’t know how I did it.” He said as he shoved another piece of pancake into his mouth.

“Yeah, I feel you on that. I usually stop after 2 or 3 drinks. I’m glad I didn’t really feel pressured to drink last night.”

Keith laughed, “You’re 29, you’re going to give in to peer pressure?”   


“Matt and Pidge can be dangerous in convincing me to do things. One time Pidge and I snuck out and ended up cliff jumping at 3 in the morning. The plan was to go to Denny’s and go home.”

“Oh my god, yeah they seem like the type to somehow get you into trouble.”

“Oh, one time we…”

Shiro was interrupted by Keith’s phone ringing, “You can take that if you need to.”

He glanced from his phone to Shiro and then back to his phone, “Shit, yeah hold on one second. Hello?....Yeah, yeah I know I’m sorry I forgot to text last night. You wouldn’t believe what happened at my apartment…I know, I’m sorry. I’ll text you next time, I promise...I stayed over a friend’s house, I’ll explain later...What? No, babe. What are you talking about?...Hold on.. Shiro I’m going to go outside for a second.”

“Yeah, sure. No problem.”

He nodded in understanding and watched Keith leave before allowing himself to process what he had just heard. 

_ Babe. _

He said babe. To another human. On the phone. 

**_BABE._ **

Up until that point he tried to tell himself that he wasn’t interested, but now faced with the fact that Keith wasn’t single brought forth the truth that he knew Keith was absolutely perfect and he was definitely interested in him. It had only been a week.  A WEEK.

Shiro had never been a jealous man. He was always happy for others or tried to be. He tried to support the ones he cared about instead of silently hoping he’d get something for himself. But now, listening to Keith call some mystery person on the phone the term of endearment, he can’t help but feeling jealous that the word could never be directed at him. 

It was strange because for the longest time he was content being single. After everything that happened with his second mate, he was ready to just be Shiro and family and maybe adopt a few more cats. Now, he couldn’t figure out why his heart was reacting so strongly to this man he just met a week ago, but he knew he needed to work on it for them to remain friends. 

A couple minutes later Keith came back in. He looked annoyed and Shiro didn’t know if it was okay to ask about it. Instead, he stuck to a safe “are you alright?”

Keith plopped back into his chair with a sigh, “Yeah, I guess. My boyfriend was just annoyed I never called him when I got home. He’s a little bit anal when it comes to safety, which is not a bad thing, but it’s becoming harder not to get annoyed by it now that we live 3,000 miles away. I can’t always remember to text him after I’m done riding my bike or when I get back from class, ya know?” He paused for a second, clearly deep in thought, “Sorry for dumping that on you. He’s just not handling the separation as well as I hoped.”

“I get it, kind of. I mean, mom has been calling Pidge and I nonstop since we moved. It was easier when it was just Matt because she still had us around the house, but now she only has our dogs to treat like her baby.” He laughed a bit, thinking about the picture Colleen sent him recently of Rover in a baby onesie, “I’m sure he’ll start feeling better once you guys figure out a better routine.”   


“I hope so.” He sighed, “James is great; we’ve been together for a long time and I don’t want to lose him just because he can’t handle a little distance. He’s supposed to move out here next year, but how he’s acting now is making me nervous he can’t make it until then.”

Shiro reached over and grabbed Keith’s shoulder on his way up to clear the dishes, “It sounds like he really cares about you, so I wouldn’t worry too much.”

He smiled up at Shiro, “Thanks, I appreciate it. Also, I appreciate you listening to my relationship bullshit.”

“Of course, what are friends for?”

It was about two hours later Shiro finally arrived at Matt’s place. As soon as Keith left he knew he needed to tell someone, a human someone, especially after he tried to vent to Black but she only stared back at him as she kneaded the new blanket that was supposed to stay in his room but she kept dragging out. He knew he should just go over Matt’s but history told him all he was going to say is “I told you so” as many times as humanly possible. 

To procrastinate, he showered, and then he got distracted by Black being absolutely adorable with her new tree tower. Shiro went a little crazy and bought a $180 one when he arrived as an apology for the extremely long car ride, but with how happy she looks in it, it seems he’s been forgiven.

As soon as Matt opened the door he walked in, chucked his shoes at the rack, and face planted into the bean back chair in the corner of the room.   


“What happened in between last night and this morning?” Matt asked as he poked Shiro with his foot.

“Keith slept over because his roommate was having an orgy in his apartment. No, I’m not kidding, he’s probably going to be looking to break his lease and move. Remind me to ask Pidge and Hunk if they still need a roommate. Anyways, then this morning as we were having breakfast his boyfriend called because he was worried when he didn’t check in when he got home last night. His boyfriend. BOYFRIEND.” He screamed the last part into the beanbag.

“Oh buddy, that’s rough.”

“His name is James, they’ve been together for two years, and he’s supposed to be moving out here next year. But Black cuddled with him last night, Matt. Black doesn’t even cuddle with you and he’s known you for forever!”

“I thought you weren’t interested in dating? What happened to ‘I’m here to learn and make friends, Matt. That’s it.’” He said in his best Shiro impression, which wasn’t terrible. 

“It was all a lie. I admit it now. I was lying to you, to Pidge, to mom, I LIED. I think he’s WONDERFUL and I’ve only known him a WEEK - why am I so RIDICULOUS.”

“You told mom?”

“Pidge told dad, who told mom, who called me basically screaming because she said, and I quote ‘I thought I’d have to wait 10 years before any of you got married.’ She’s talking about marriage and I can’t even tie my shoes correctly half the time.”

“I still think Pidge is going to get married first.”

Shiro poked his head out to see whether or not Matt was being serious. His smirk proved otherwise. 

They both had money on Pidge never getting married, adopting 4 dogs, and living in a penthouse apartment surrounded by machines to keep them warm at night. Glad to know they were both still on the same page.

Back to the current issue.

“What do I DO?”

“Well, you’ve never really fallen for someone this fast or...in a long time, so this makes the situation kind of uniquely odd,” Matt stroked his chin, pondering for a second, “You can always find out if he’s your soulmate and try to woo him with the power of fate.” 

“WHAT.”

They stared each other down for what felt like an eternity.

“Did you forget about that little mark on your tit?”

Shiro frowned, “I told you to stop calling it that. And uh...maybe.”

“Hmm, we need to get Keith shirtless. If there’s no mark, then you need to woo him the old fashion way.”

“I probably wouldn’t do anything even if he was my soulmate. I tend to have a bad track record with those.”

“You’re right. But this mate’s going to be different, I feel it!” He said as he dramatically shot up onto his feet, “Now up, we’re not moping all day. Let’s go check out the gym on campus. I still havn’t gone and I need to start working out again,” he emphasized by dangling his noodle arms in front of him.

“Ugh, fine. You’re lucky I wore sweats over here.”

From then on Shiro tried to avoid any nonplatonic thoughts when it came to Keith. He was his friend and he was going to respect his relationship status, no matter what. It sometimes became difficult when Keith would give him one of his soft smiles, or when he’d text him good morning with a meme he probably found the night before instead of sleeping (“I have insomnia Shiro, it’s not my fault”), or when he’d come over and Black would ball up in his lap for the several hours they would be watching random TV and studying.

He was just so lovely, his heart couldn’t help but feel soft and warm when he was around him.

His classed were generally smooth sailing, at least when it came to emotions. Shiro ended up really enjoying Professor Montgomery. She was a little wild, but it kept the class engaging. He especially liked how she treated everyone like adults. He worried a bit on how much personal responsibility would be allotted and was pleasantly surprised the first couple of weeks. 

He also really enjoyed the class’s lab, where he somehow got lucky enough to be paired with Keith. They were doing a lot of dissections, stainings, and visits to other labs, which was really fun since he got to see a lot of what his classmates were up to. Keith even switched into his statistics course. Basically, he was waiting to see if they’re ever going to get sick of each other. So far, so good. 

Lance and Allura had become part of their inner circle, even though they were in a completely different program. Shiro ended up liking Lance, even though he had a large personality that he couldn’t always handle. In time it seemed like Keith had warmed up to him too, or generally got over the fact that he wasn’t going to be able to get rid of him. 

Allura was the definition of kind but also had a sharp sense of humor. She was much closer in age to him, so they were able to bond a lot about their shitty eyesight and stiff necks when typing for too long. 

Like promised, Shiro talked to Pidge and Hunk about Keith’s living situation and soon they were all helping him move into their third bedroom. The small group even had a housewarming party for Keith where they all ended up drifting asleep on the mismatched couches watching the Star Wars movies after falling into a food coma thanks to Hunk stress baking. Shiro did not think about how Keith fell asleep on his shoulder for the next 3 weeks non-stop.

If he was being honest, after losing his arm, being around anyone besides his family became too hard. He ended up barely leaving the house and spent most of his time being doted on by Colleen who took administrative leave to take care of him throughout his numerous surgeries and doctors visits. He hated having to rely on people to do everything while waiting for a new arm, he hated getting pity looks from his friends, and he especially hated the constant calls he would get from scientists wanting to have him come in for some research project about his abnormally reactive marks. 

In the year it took him to heal he lost most of his friends because he stopped calling them back and all his scholarships because he stopped showing up to class. In that time he had decided to see a therapist and work on himself, something he had been ignoring since before he lost his parents. It took a long time to get to where he was, and if it hadn’t been for the Holts, he has no idea what would’ve happened to him.

Since then, I’d taken a lot of him to go out of his comfort zone and place trust in people he didn’t know. But his life was dramatically different than what it was 8 years ago, and all in all, things were great and for the first time in a long time Shiro was starting to feel happy in his own skin. 

Keyword: starting.

One Wednesday his whole, strange friend group were able to get together for lunch at one of the larger dining halls on campus. An outing he was actually excited for. He typically tried to avoid them, since there were so many people in one place, but he braved it out when Pidge gave him the puppy dog eyes and Allura texted him that she was excited to see him after she was away at a conference for a week.

Shiro was just about to dig into his taco salad when Hunk and Matt finally arrived. Their table was way too full, but Shiro was really happy with who filled it.

Everything was going well, with Lance talking about the cute babies he got to hang out with that morning and Allura updating everyone on how her presentations went until Pidge began talking about their class and lab work, which focused on soulmates. 

Shiro knew what they were researching, supported their quest for mark knowledge, and usually had no issue talking about soulmates in a general sense, but when someone brings up soulmarks and stigma around having multiple, or the ever constant “oh have you met yours,” he still gets uncomfortable. Society has come a long way from the violence those with multiple marks, no marks, or ever changing marks have had to deal with in the past, especially with all the laws and protections that were put in place years ago. 

A lot of it stemmed from lack of information about how marks actually worked, and since scientists have stepped in, the knowledge that 23% of people don’t actually fall in the ‘norm’ of having a single, life long mark has become well known. It’s made life for people like Shiro a lot easier. He gets less weird looks, less judgment from doctors and feels safe being in a school with 30,000 other students. 

Unfortunately, people still had their opinions and found ways to blame those deemed ‘impure’ for the problems of the world no matter what was discovered. He’d been working on accepting the things he couldn’t control and the way society viewed him, but it still hurt to think about and anxious to talk about with those he didn’t fully trust.

Unlucky for him, Lance was the overly curious type. 

“Have any of you guys found your soulmate?”

Pidge and Matt attempted to subtly look to see Shiro’s reaction, unfortunately not subtle enough.

“Why’d you both look at Shiro? Did you find your soulmate? Tell me about them!”

“I haven’t,” is what he settled on, which wasn’t technically a lie. He hasn’t found his most recent, and hopefully final, soulmate. They don’t need to know that.

“Shiro, I have 4 siblings and a niece and nephew, I know when people are lying.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He tried to remain calm, polite, poised, but he could feel that he wouldn’t be able to maintain that for much longer. He was disappointed in himself; he thought he worked on this enough to stay calm, unfortunately not.

“What, did they reject you or…?” 

The table was silenced by Shiro’s plastic fork snapping and salsa splattering the table. 

No one talked for a good 30 seconds, and no one dared to make eye contact with him or Matt, who tried to subtly pick the pickled onion tossed on him off his sweater.

His fight or flight response had been activated, and he was about to choose flight when Keith jumped in.

“Ya know, I think the whole soulmate thing is kind of overrated. I don’t see why we have to care about it. I’ve had plenty of wonderful relationships with people and no mark connecting us. I mean, my boyfriend and I aren’t soulmates and that hasn’t bothered us.”

“I agree, my last boyfriend wasn’t my mate, and if it wasn’t for him finding his we’d probably still be together,” Allura added in. She was wonderful.

Shiro was trying to relax his shaking hands and anxious mind as Keith and Allura continued to guide the conversation away from him, he was incredibly grateful for his new friends. Most people would continue to question, try to pry into his life, but instead they were trying to make him less uncomfortable and give him space. Answer the question when he was ready.

He tuned in just in time to hear Keith talking about his family a bit. 

“So no one in your family has a mate?”

“No Hunk, most of them have a mark but they’ve never cared that much to find them.” He shrugged, “My mom and dad fell in love and that was good enough for them, they never felt regret. My uncle Thace had several marks and because society is dumb and basically ostracized him he just gave up and decided to find love on his own terms. My uncle Antok doesn’t have any marks and because of that he was given up to foster care because his family thought he was broken. I’ve seen how soulmarks can hurt people, so we just stopped focusing our lives around them.”

Shiro knew about people who ignored the marks; was jealous of them for the longest time. He’s spent too many nights to count searching youtube videos and blog posts about those who have found love outside of marks, whose entire families have disregarded the strings of fate. It was near the end of his recovery when he was told about those like Keith and he desperately wanted to become one of those individuals. 

At that moment, Keith became even more perfect. He knew he shouldn’t judge compatibility based off of whether or not someone rejects their mark, but Shiro may have finally found someone who he could trust with the truth of his past and the truth of his marks and not be immediately blamed for everything that happened.

It felt like hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh lol (kind of spoiler, I guess) don't hate me for throwing Jeith in there, it's not really going to be talked about too much, so don't worry if you're not a fan. I mostly just needed a name.
> 
> I know commenting can be hard and can require a lot of energy - emojis or emoticons, even a simple heart, means so much to me and are all 100% considered a comment that will bring joy to my heart!
> 
> As always, let me know if you ever need me to tag something!
> 
> Come yell at me about the fic or say hi:  
> Twitter: nax_zela  
> 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiii this chapter was hard to write for some reason, but ya bitch did it. 
> 
> Thanks to Violet (twitt @ mischiev_iolet), as always, for being the best beta in existence.

Shiro, Keith, and Hunk quickly realized they all had very similar tastes in movies and shows and started a Tuesday movie night every week at one of their places, which turned mostly into Hunk and Keith’s place since they lived in the same place and it was less work for two thirds of those involved. 

Luckily, they sometimes came over when Shiro sent a photo of Black being especially needy and would be sad if Shiro left her all alone. 

They were all about to start the 5th episode in a row of Black Mirror when Allura and Pidge walked in. They were both disgustingly sweaty but were somehow smiling regardless. Oh, how Shiro missed the days he actually enjoyed working out. 

Sure, he kept up with his routines and heavily participated in his fair share of weight lifting and cardio, but that was more out of necessity to be able to maintain enough muscle mass to use his arm comfortably. Not because he got anything out of the endorphins that were supposedly released as he sweats out every ounce of water through his pores. 

“Hello, my dudes.” Pidge greeted as they plopped their small, gross body down on top of Hunk. 

“Oh, no you don’t! Up and in the shower, you tiny gremlin!”

Pidge hissed as they were practically thrown off their resting place onto the carpet. They smacked Hunk on the back of the head as they made their way to their shared bathroom. Allura sat down on the carpet next to Keith as they finished laughing at Pidge’s antics. 

“Good workout?” Keith asked.

“Wonderful. My friend teaches a really intense Zumba class twice a week and I got Pidge to join me. They said they’re a bad dancer but I think they’re a natural.”

“Oh wow, I love Zumba. I used to do it with my cousin and sister before I moved over here. Maybe I can join you guys, how much is it?”

“$10 a class, but she gives a discount to grad students, so $5 with your ID. There’s also a monthly pass of $30 for students if you plan on going a lot. Hunk, would you like to join us?”

“Eh, no thanks. I usually just hike and visit some yoga classes when I have time.”

“What about you, Shiro?”

All eyes locked onto him when she asked, “Uh, yeah I...I can’t dance to save my life.”

“Oh that’s alright! It’s a class, not a performance! I’m sure you’d love it.”

He paused to consider his options, on one hand, he could save his dignity and not do it. On the other hand, he could try something new once and even if he didn’t like it he’s at least get to see Keith dancing. And get all flushed and sweaty.

There was clearly a better option.

“I guess I could try a class.”

The next week, Shiro was regretting saying yes to trying a class.

He picked Keith up at his place and almost died seeing Keith in leggings and a tank top barely hanging onto his shoulders. At this point in time, he had no regrets.

The regrets began when they got to the class and finished some initial stretches with the instructor, Romelle, who Allura had known since they were kids. She was a small but incredibly energetic and quickly got the room in the mood to start gyrating their bodies in ways that made very little sense to Shiro, someone who can barely move his hips side to side to a beat.

The warm up dance wasn’t too bad. Romelle put on something he thinks included Selena Gomez but wasn’t sure he heard before and guided them through some simple moves. A lot of back and forth and repetitive arm movements Shiro was generally able to follow. 

Shiro was in the farthest back left spot he could be in, with Keith and Allura directly in front of him because he was too embarrassed for them to be able to watch him, even though they could see him in the mirrors. Allura ended up staying in the back with them since Shiro was nervous and he was mostly watching her since she was familiar with the routine, but he occasionally looked over at Keith. He clearly knew what he was doing a lot more than Shiro did, and it was nice to see him enjoying himself so much. 

A couple of songs in when more hip movements got involved Shiro was really starting to struggle. A positive was that Keith was not, and he quickly realized that he definitely admired a man that could dance. 

At some point Keith had moved his hair into a bun and Shiro could trace beads of sweat rolling down the back of his neck. His tank top was falling off his right shoulder and he had a light flush over the entirety of the skin that was visible. Shiro was struggling to keep his thoughts appropriate with the delicious scene in front of him. 

While shamefully ogling Keith, that he definitely must have noticed in the mirror, he tripped on his foot and fell. 

Face first. 

Into the floor. 

_ Wonderful _ .

He quickly made to get up, Keith running to grab his arm to help him gain some balance. Romelle paused midway over to him when he raised his hand to show he was fine and then pointed to the door to motion he was going to take a break for a second. He nodded to Allura that he was fine and was followed by Keith on his way out. 

To postpone the inevitable of Keith confronting him about checking him out or making fun of him for tripped over his two left feet, he made his way over to the water fountain to take a drink. 

When he finally stood up and turned to Keith he was surprisingly only met with concerned eyes. 

“Are you sure you’re okay? It sounded like you went down pretty hard.”

He laughed, in the most self-deprecating way possible, “Yeah, I think it’s cause I landed on the metal hand. I promise I’m okay.”

Keith smiled and moved to get himself a drink too, when he came up he asked, “The class is almost over, do you want to go back in?”

“Nah, I’ll wait for you and Allura out here if that’s alright.”

He brushed his elbow on his way past and went back in. Shiro plopped down onto a bench and pulled out his phone to update his siblings on his most recent embarrassment as he waited. 

 

_ Fam _

_ Shiro: _ Guess who fell during Zumba!

_ Matt: _ oh, no

_ Pidge: _ Oh, YES 

_ Shiro: _ Keith was incredibly concerned and kind about it and I am embarrassed please kill me

_ Matt: _ fuck dude, I’d be too

_ Pidge: _ I’m so mad I missed this class how COULD you embarrass yourself when I wasn’t there!!

_ Shiro: _ Sorry Pidge, I’ll make sure to only fall when you’re present next time. Not like there’s going to be a next time. 

_ Matt: _ zumba not ya thing?

_ Shiro: _ Oh, fuck no. It was...interesting, just not for me

_ Pidge: _ Yeah, it’s for me bitch

_ Matt: _ pidgeon, language

_ Pidge: _ Matteo, fuck off

_ Shiro _ : Anyways, they’re about to get out so I’ll update if Allura decides to embarrass me further

_ Matt: _ godspeed

_ Pidge: _ You’re a fucking mess

 

Shiro only had to wait another 15 minutes before the class ended and everyone started to come out of the room. Allura and Keith were the last to leave with Romelle, who all immediately come over to where Shiro was sitting. 

“Shiro, Keith said you were fine but what happened? You looked like you were doing fine.” Allura asked.

“I think I just tripped on my own feet, honestly. I’m not really a dancer, and that was pretty complex.”

“Well, my class is for beginners, so maybe some private practice is in order if you want to work on getting better,” Romelle added before she introduced herself. 

“As much as that was fun, I’m not sure it’s for me. But you’re a great instructor Romelle. Thanks for letting me join in.”

“Of course, there’s a whole list of other student led classes on the wall near the entrance if you want to try something else. But I got to head out, thanks for coming. I’ll text you later Allura!”

“Okay! See you later.”

Keith and Shiro soon departed from the fitness center and drove back to Keith’s place after getting a quick coffee with Allura. Shiro immediately laid out on the couch and Keith sat on the back of his thighs instead of trying to move him, something ridiculous he always did when Shiro was being particularly dramatic.

“So...did you really not like it?”

“Yeah, I did make an honest effort though.”  
  
“Maybe there’s another class we could take instead.”

“Sure, look up the list online. I’m pretty sure it’s listed on the center’s facebook page.”

Keith hummed in acknowledgment and went to searching. Shiro was half asleep when Keith spoke up again, “More Zumba, a couple of Yoga classes, some that sound completely insane, and some guided meditation courses that sound dumb.”

“Hey, meditation’s not dumb.”

“Yeah, have you tried it before?

“Um, no.”

“Then how would you know?”

“How would you? Have you tried it?”

“No.”

“Then how do you know!”

“I just know, Shiro.”   


“I bet you couldn’t last through one class.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“No, a bet. Like I said.”

“So what are we betting?”

“Whoever can’t last the class has to take the other out for expensive sushi.”

Keith’s eyes snapped to him. Shiro knew Keith’s weakness was the fancy ramen and sushi place a half hour away. He would desperately beg Shiro every weekend to go with him, even though they were both too broke to keep spending $40 a week on one meal. 

“Deal. When are we going?”

“When’s the next session?”

Shiro regretted this new experience much less than he regretted the Zumba class. The class had started 10 minutes ago and so far Shiro felt pretty relaxed. At first it was a little strange, he felt a little self conscious about closing his eyes and really getting into it but he was open minded and was really starting to enjoy it.

Keith, on the other hand, wouldn’t stop fidgeting. 

Every time Shiro opened his eyes he could see the cute pout on Keith’s face as he tried to empty his mind and try and calm his breathing. He wouldn’t classify Keith as a hothead, but he definitely didn’t fall under the cool, calm, and collected category. 

“You okay?”

He glared at Shiro, “Peachy.”

“Shh, respect the quiet for the others here,” The instructor said, cutting their conversation off.

They both nodded their apology and Shiro closed his eyes again. His therapist always tried to encourage him to try a meditation class, but he always brushed it off. He kind of regrets it now. 

They were about 25 minutes in when he felt Keith stand up next to him. He looked up, saw the look of defeat, and tried to hold in his giggle as he watched him sulk out of the room, earning a disapproving look from the teacher as the door shut a little louder than intended. 

Shiro finished the rest of the class because he was enjoying it and if he was here he was staying. He stretched a bit after they finished and found Keith out in the courtyard, still pouting while looking down at his phone. 

“How was the rest of your meditation?” he asked bitterly.

“It was actually pretty great, I might go back. But not before someone treats me to some sushi and ramen. I might even get one of those green sodas.”

Keith groaned as he got up, “Fine, but don’t go overboard. I just bought James’s birthday present so I am a broke bitch right now.”

Shiro ignored the way his heart ached at the mention of James, “Oh? What’d you get him?”

“He said he was getting interested in photography and taking videos, so I got him a pretty nice camera. Pidge was able to get me some good deals, and I shipped it to his mom’s house so she can wrap it for me and give it to him next week. I’m not sure where the new interest came from, but I’m excited he found a new hobby instead of moping around the house all day.”

“Yeah, that’s good. Things going better?”   


“A little. We shared calendars on google so we have a general idea where the other is, and we try to Skype at least once a week. That seems to have helped his mood.”

“That’s good, I’m glad. So when do you want to go for sushi?”

“I already finished my ethics assignment, so we can go tonight if you want?”

“Sure, sounds good to me.”

He dropped Keith off and headed home to shower and get ready. He was sitting on the floor of his living room in just his boxers to hang out with Black for a bit without getting his clothes dirty when Matt waltzed into his home like he owned the place.

“Why are you naked? Also, when were you going to tell me you had a date with Keith tonight?”

Shiro tilted his head in confusion, “What are you talking about? We’re just getting dinner. We do that all the time.”

Matt kicked his shoes off and wandered in, “Are you sure? Because Pidge said Keith seems manic right now trying to figure out how to style his hair and what to wear.”   


Shiro paused at that and thought back to the day he spent with Keith. Going through everything they did and their conversations together, nothing seemed out of the norm for them. They got a quick breakfast at Dunkin (Keith quickly became obsessed after his move to the east coast), they went to the meditation class, got more coffee with Allura, and then he dropped Keith off at home and had been hanging out with Black since. They haven’t been texting since then and Keith hadn’t posted anything unusual on Twitter (he turned Keith’s notifications on since he found out he had on his so he can always see when he tweets something ‘adorably mature’). 

“I don’t...uh, I really don’t understand what you’re talking about. We’re just friends. Two pals getting food. Nothing unusual at all.” Shiro finally responded while rubbing the back of his neck. 

“I don’t know, Pidge just said Keith was acting weird and by what they described it sounds like he was trying to look nicer than normal and then they said he was going out with you.” 

“Yeah, for dinner. As friends! Plus he’s still dating James.”

“He said he’s been in poly relationships before. Has he ever asked you if you’d be okay with dating someone who was?”    


“I don’t...not that I remember. I mean, I don’t think I’d mind but I never really thought about it before.”

“Maybe he’s planning on asking you tonight?”

Shiro abruptly got up at that and immediately came up with every reason why that was  _ not _ happening and why Keith would _ never  _ be interested in him and why even if he  _ was _ he’d probably say no because he didn’t want to ruin their friendship.

“Okay okay, I get it. I won’t keep panicking you, but if for some reason it does happen, don’t just shoot it down right away. Maybe it’ll work out great and you, Keith and James will the happiest couple on planet Earth.”

“Uh, this got worse. I’m going to go panic puke and then get dressed. See yourself out.”

“Yes, sir.”

 

Keith offered to drive since the weather had been great the entire morning and got to Shiro’s apartment directly at 5 pm. Shiro locked his door, picked up the extra helmet from Keith, and listened to Keith as he guided him on how to sit behind him. They hadn’t had time yet to take a ride together, so Shiro was nervous for a number of reasons.  

So far, Keith didn’t seem to be acting any differently, maybe a little more quiet than normal. He did look like he dressed up more than usual in jeans that were clearly washed, a black long sleeve that wasn’t wrinkled, seemed to have actually brushed his hair before braiding it, and as he got settled in he realized Keith was most definitely wearing some sort of cologne. It was a little abnormal, but nothing too out of the ordinary. 

The ride to the restaurant was excruciating. Being this close to him, practically plastered to his body, was something he didn’t think to prepare himself for. The entire ride he had to take deep breaths and try not to think about the hard surface of Keith’s abs that both of Shiro’s hands seemed to fully cover on their own. 

They got to the restaurant without any embarrassing mishaps (Shiro was thankful for his self control in certain nether regions) and were seated in no time at one of the side tables near the bar. Keith and Shiro ended up ordering their usual, Keith asking for the spiciest ramen they’ll make him, Shiro asking for spice but not too much so he could still taste the flavor, and a few rolls to split. 

Somehow they ended up talking about their final project for their core class, something that was coming up faster than they realized, allowing Shiro to ignore the way his palms kept getting sweaty and the way small pieces of Keith’s hair kept coming out of his braid in the most adorable way.

“Shiro?”

He realized he’d been staring for longer than appropriate and completely tuned out to whatever Keith was saying.

“Oh, sorry. Not sure what happened there.”

“You tired?”

“Yeah, I guess,” he let out a small laugh, “I keep fantasizing about planting my ass on my couch all weekend and just relaxing with Black and some ice cream. I don’t think I’ve really taken a break for more than a couple of hours since school started.” 

_ Good recovery. Not a complete lie _ . 

“Ah yeah, I’ve definitely relaxed a bit since moving in with Pidge and Hunk, but grad school has been a whole new kind of rough. I’m glad we met though, and that I met everyone else, you guys have really helped make it easier.” 

“Yeah, me too. I know I’ve never really mentioned much about my life before getting here, but I’m pretty bad at making and maintaining friends, so I’m glad this one worked out.”

Keith started fiddling around with the chopsticks as they waited for their food, something unusual that he’d been doing all evening. Shiro knew by now Keith wasn’t one to fidget much unless he was under a load of stress. Usually he would spot him rubbing his thumb back and forth on his first while attempting to cram as many statistics formulas into his head as possible. Something was definitely up, but he didn’t think it had anything to do with what Matt said, even if Keith seemed to be dressed up more than usual. 

“What’s up?” 

“Huh? Nothing, just...nothing.”

“Hey, talk to me. I can tell somethings bothering you. You don’t have to, but I’m here if you want to talk.”

He sighed as he put his head on the table before sitting back up with a look that better represented how he felt on the inside. 

“My mom was supposed to visit next week for my birthday, but...she needed to take off work to take care of one of my cousins. My uh...my uncle passed away during the summer and it’s been really hard on the family. I almost didn’t come to school because of it but they all convinced me last minute. I was really looking forward to seeing her, but I get that my cousin needing family to feel sane would be more of a priority than me right now. I just miss her so much.”

“Oh fuck, I’m so sorry Keith. I know you’re probably tired of hearing that but...yeah I get why you’d probably really love a visit from family right now.”

“Thanks Shiro, I appreciate it. I tried to convince James to get a last minute flight to visit for a couple of days since I was able to save a bit but he wasn’t able to either.”

“Pidge did say you were acting a little different today. I wish you would’ve told me, I could’ve been there for support.”

Their food arrived midstory and he took a big bite of a roll and grumpily chewed, “I know...I just know you’re going through stuff too and I’d feel bad if I just bombarded you with my shit.”

“Well, in the future, please know that I’m here for all the shit you’d need to bombard someone with.”

That got a good laugh out of Keith, finally breaking his grumpy face.

“I’m serious, I’m here if you need someone.”

“Thanks Shiro, you’re a great friend.” 

The rest of their meal felt more comfortable now that that was out in the open. Keith paid the bill with only a little huff under his breath and they left the restaurant into the late night chill.

“I have a weird question for you...” Shiro started as they made their way over to his bike.

“Hm?”

“Is there a reason you dressed up so nice?”

Keith tilted his head in question, like he didn’t quite understand. 

“It’s just...Matt randomly barged into my house and said Pidge told him you were panicking trying to get ready.”

It was dark, but Shiro could’ve sworn in the light of the street lamp he could see the beginnings of a faint blush on Keith’s cheeks. 

“Oh. I uh...when I’m upset I like to dress up, I guess. My sister and I have this saying that ‘if you look good, you’ll feel good’ so whenever one of us felt like shit we’d both dress up really nice to give ourselves a little more confidence.” 

Shiro smiled, “I love that. Next time make sure to let me know, I’ll dress up with you.” 

He laughed getting on the bike, “Sure, I’ll make sure to.”

Shiro got in back of him, and before securing the helmet on his head added, “It was funny really, Matt was convinced you were trying to look nice for me or something.”

Shiro didn’t seem to mind the lack of answer, and Keith was glad that he couldn’t see the look of panic on his face as he drove. 

When Shiro got home, he quickly pulled his phone out and started a new group chat.

 

_ Operation: Birthday Boy _

_ Shiro:  _ Alright team, we got a mission ahead of us. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter!! 
> 
> Please let me know if you ever need me to tag something. 
> 
> I know commenting can be hard and can require a lot of energy - emojis or emoticons, even a simple heart, means so much to me and are all 100% considered a comment that will bring joy to my heart!
> 
> Come say hi!!  
> Twitter: nax_zela  
> 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, it's me! Sorry for this taking so long. For some reason I had a lot of trouble with this chapter. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> As always, thanks to my beautiful beta - Violet <3

Keith woke up the day of his birthday like he woke up every morning since moving - a little cold from the heat not working well enough in just his room (something Pidge and Hunk forgot to mention), a little stiff from the shitty pillows he picked up in August and hasn’t had time to replace yet, and a little lonely from the lack of someone holding him at night. 

Sure, a lot of people  _ thought _ he was standoffish and not a touchy-feely kind of guy, but the reality is that he hadn’t been able to sleep well since he moved and 1. had no boyfriend and 2. no dog to cuddle with him at night.  

Which lead to where (or who) his thoughts normally strayed to when his loneliness came to the surface - Shiro. 

Shiro; his absolutely amazing, kind, gentle, and extremely gorgeous best friend, who’s made moving thousands of miles away from his home and family a little more bearable. He still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that he knocked straight into the guy on the first day, broke his expensive fucking water bottle, and somehow still got his number (for school purposes, of course).

Since then Shiro had been his rock. Sometimes he wonders if he even realizes it but he also knows Shiro isn’t the type to ever reflect on his importance in the world, just on how his actions impact the people he cares about. He’s ridiculous and the most amazing man he’s ever met in his life. 

Keith sighed, rolled over and picked up his phone to check notifications while his other hand worked to fix his sweatshirt that attempted to suffocate him during the night. 

He scrolled past the extra notifications his mom and stepdad sent even after they called at midnight his time, some texts from his cousins and uncles, several snapchats from his sister (most likely her trying to sing VERY poorly), and, to no one’s surprise, no notifications from his  _ beloved _ boyfriend.

He felt dumb that he had gotten his hopes up. They’d been fighting, he thinks. Well…He’s not exactly sure to be quite honest, he just knows for the past month everything's been a little rocky. James has started texting him less, calling him sometimes, and snapping at him quicker. Every time he asked if it was something he did or because of the move he would deny anything was wrong. He knows this entire situation is hard on him too, but it barely seems like he’s trying anymore. At this point, he didn’t know what to do besides stick it out until Christmas break and try to talk to him in person. 

But it was his  _ birthday _ ...and they’ve been dating for over two years, he should at least text him? Right?

He swiped at the lone tear that tried to betray him and got up to start making some shitty coffee and get in the shower. He was determined to not let his ridiculous boyfriend ruin his birthday, especially since he was going to go hang out with Shiro and Black tonight and order way too much Dominos and continue watching that demon hunting show Shiro loves so much (that he’s enjoying too but refuses to admit).

He had very little to do today except for a couple of hours in lab running some of the smaller experiments and then he was meeting Shiro and their study group in the library to go over this week’s lectures. He was a little nervous for their upcoming finals, but with all the studying and reviews they’ve been doing, Shiro was convinced they’d all pass with flying colors. 

Oh, Shiro. He’s so confident, and encouraging, and sweet, and… 

Oh wow, okay focus on walking to the bathroom and not daydreaming about your friend there, buddy.

Keith shook his head as he tried to change thoughts in his mind. His potentially developing feelings for his friend weren’t new, but they’ve been at the front of his mind more and more now that his boyfriend had been ghosting him and Shiro refuses to be anything less than the perfect gentlemen. 

He kind of felt like shit whenever he thought about it, but he’s allowed to admire right? Just appreciating the lovely  _ work of art _ human that has blessed his life with friendship. 

He rolled his eyes at himself as he went to go take  _ another _ cold shower. 

Throughout the day he kept getting texts from his friends and family wishing him a happy birthday, including the close friends he’s made at school. It felt nice, and between the texts and the lab work he was mostly able to keep James out of his mind. 

By the time the study session came around Keith was almost vibrating with excitement because that meant he got to see Shiro and get a hug from Shiro and wow, holy fuck, he forgets how touch starved he’s been when those thick beautiful arms wrap around his body. 

“Happy Birthday Keith!” 

“Thanks, Shiro. And thanks for the coffee, you even remembered the liquid sugar.”

“Of course, only the best for the birthday boy. You feel old yet?”

“Not yet, 26 hasn’t really hit me yet. Maybe tomorrow when my back starts giving out and I need to get reading glasses.”

“Well, I have some you can share don’t you worry.” 

Shiro gave him one of his million dollar smiles that at first he assumed was fake, but realized Shiro was just genuinely nice and only gave that smile to people he actually liked. It made Keith feel special to be cared about by someone so wonderful.

The study session went by as it usually did. Nyma was in charge of the whiteboard, Shiro read through each slide, and everyone asked for more information if they didn’t take good enough notes. It was pretty bland, but he knew it was necessary if he wanted to pass this course. He’s been hearing from basically every second year and up that the fall core class is 100 times more brutal than the spring and he was praying to whatever God existed that that was true. 

Part of the way through Shiro had texted him to start thinking about where they were going for lunch. His pick since it was his birthday, which Keith chuckled a bit about and got a glare from one of his classmates who generally didn’t like him to begin with. 

When the session ended they both got up and headed to Shiro’s car and went to a greasy burger joint near the mall that Keith was cosmically drawn to whenever he was given the opportunity to pick where they were eating but needed to keep prices grad student reasonable. 

They ordered the usuals - Keith got a double cheeseburger with ketchup, mustard, mayo, and extra pickles and a strawberry milkshake. Shiro got a single burger with every vegetable they had to offer (he loves veggies, like genuinely enjoys vegetables - it’s weird), a chocolate shake, and a large fry to split. 

The talked a bit about lab work, their night plans, and then Shiro ultimately brought in some topic of interest that included a fandom he was in. It took him a while to admit to Keith that he was a big giant nerd but Keith LOVED it and loved listening to him ramble on and on about his interests. He now knew things even Matt and Pidge didn’t know, he was honored. 

Shiro told him he apparently likes to write fanfiction and Keith thinks it’s the cutest thing. He posted one online recently but refuses to let Keith read it even though he watched the demon hunting show too. One day he’ll find it, he’s been searching every website he could think of.

Listening to Shiro talk about things he loves is one of the highlights of his day, and he tells Shiro that no matter how many times he apologizes for rambling on about ‘things Keith doesn’t care about’ because he does. He cares about everything Shiro has to say. 

At one point Shiro stopped mid sentence and looked at his phone in a panic. 

“Oh, we need to go.”

Keith looked at him confused, “Go where? Did Black text you saying she’s mad we’re not home yet?”

“No, I uh, need to pick up a prescription before the pharmacy closes. At Target. Uh, the pharmacy at Target.”

Keith laughed a bit at the weird way Shiro explained their reason for having to get moving, “Okay, that’s fine. I’ll go throw out our trash.”

The moment he got up Shiro was furiously texting on his phone. It was weird, but Keith wasn’t going to invade his privacy. It may be Colleen or something calling concerned. They’ve had to pause shows multiple times because Shiro forgot to call and text all week and she was concerned her children were kidnapped (Shiro was the only one who reliably had his phone on him ever). 

When they got to Target, Shiro told Keith to start looking at board games while he grabbed his prescription. He didn’t mind waiting but Shiro was adamant about him not having to come with him, so he shrugged and started walking to the game aisle. 

He was currently reading the back of the box called Exploding Kittens (which sounded kind of fun) when Shiro found him, no prescriptions in hand. He raised his eyebrow in question but ignored it when Shiro didn’t offer any explanation. 

Keith kept going through the games while Shiro offered minimal input and a few hums in agreement. Keith was trying not to get annoyed by him constantly on his phone when it was his idea to get games in the first place, but Shiro never questioned him so he was  _ trying _ to be patient. 

Finally, 20 minutes later, they walked out of the store with no prescriptions, a secret bag Shiro refused to let him see, and 4 board games that needed more than 2 players but Shiro said they should get them anyways. It was an all around weird shopping trip but at least they would be heading back now to watch TV and relax for the night. 

He  _ thought _ that’s what was going to happen.

Unfortunately, Shiro wasn’t feeling well. He wasn’t even done putting on his seatbelt when Shiro blurted out that he was feeling sick and thought he should maybe go home and then a stream of apologies because it was his birthday. It at least started to explain his weird behavior since the study session ended.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to force yourself just because of me. We always hang out and can always do something tomorrow if you’re feeling better. Do you want me to come spend the night in case you need someone?”

“NO! I mean…sorry, it’s uh, no I just think I need some sleep. I’m sorry Keith, I really wanted to make your birthday special.”

Keith reaches over to grab his hand where it was resting on the gear shift, “I know, and you did. I always enjoy getting to spend time with you. And maybe I can get Hunk and Pidge to watch the demon hunting show with me.”

“You mean Shadowhunters?”

He waved his hand, “Yeah yeah, same thing. But promise me you’ll let me know tonight if you change your mind and I’ll head over.” 

“Okay, yeah I promise. Thanks, Keith.”

Shiro was quiet the entire way to Keith’s place, wasn’t entirely unusual, but it made him more concerned about how unwell he was really feeling. Shiro always liked to comment on something, but instead he was twitchy and weird most of the 20 minute drive. 

“Do you want me to drive?”

“No, I’m okay.” Keith could see him looking a bit nervous now that he’s asked. He wouldn’t push, but he would definitely bring it up with Pidge when he got home. Which reminds him, he needed to remember to save Matt’s number one of these times, too.

When they pulled up Shiro started to get out of the car too. When Keith raised his eyebrow in question he just replied “bathroom.” Must be a stomach bug of some sort. 

Keith tried to get Shiro to go in before him so he can have quicker access to the bathroom, but he insisted on him entering first. He was definitely sick with the level of weird he was acting right now. 

He unlocked the door and entered his place...which was eerily dark, the blinds closed, and no lights on making the entrance and living room pitch black. 

Today has just been getting weirder and weirder. 

Especially when he almost fucking pissed himself when he turned on the lights and all of his friends popped up from behind the furniture to yell, “SURPRISE!!!”

Keith stood there, stunned, for probably longer than what would be considered normal after he practically jumped 4 feet in the air. 

He just...never expected this in a million years. 

There were red and orange streamers on the walls, with a big happy birthday banner over their TV. There was a giant cake on the island, with a bunch of his favorite foods all waiting around it. Allura and Romelle were already rushing forward to hug him, Pidge and Matt looking smug while Lance and Hunk excitedly high-fived on the clear success of the surprise. 

Once he shook himself out of his shock he turned to look at all of them and then back to where he almost forgot Shiro was standing, now looking completely normal, “You were in on this?”

“Pfffft, it was his idea!” Lance yelled from across the room.

He could’ve sworn Shiro started to blush, which made the party even sweeter. He couldn’t have asked for a better friend to have in his life. 

From there his friends gathered him around the table and they all started to play the games him and Shiro had picked out while Hunk passed around the food he made. Shiro stuck to being on his team, per usual, and even if they lost most of the games to Pidge and Hunk, it was a lot of fun. 

At one point they moved to the couch to start watching movies. Since the newer Total Recall is one of his favorites (even though Pidge thinks it’s trash with the rest of the world) it was the first one put on. He was squished between Allura and Hunk with Shiro on the floor leaning against his thighs and realized he hadn’t felt that happy since he moved across the country. 

His happiness was cut short about 30 minutes into the movie when his boyfriend finally decided he was going to call him. He excused himself to his room for a second to answer.

“Hey.”

“Hey babe, I’m so sorry I’m late. I was swamped at work today and you know how my sleeping schedule has been so I was an airhead this morning. I really meant to call earlier.”

Keith counted to ten before answering, not wanting to start a fight over something that isn’t a big deal, “It’s fine, I understand.”

“Thanks. Happy Birthday, did you have a good day?”

“Yeah, I did. Just normal Friday stuff, but then my friends surprised me with a party. It was really sweet, and we’re actually watching some movies now before we eat this really delicious looking cake later. You know my friend Shiro? It was all his idea too.”

“That’s great babe, I’m glad you had a good day even though none of us could be there.”

“Yeah, me too…”

The conversation drifted off from there, unsurprisingly. This has been the case with most of their calls as of late. He didn’t know what he did for James to not care to put in effort anymore, but every phone call started to hurt more than the last. 

“I got to go, but I’ll call you later. Happy Birthday, Keith.”

“Yeah, no problem. Thank you, I love you.”

He heard the phone hang up and the knock on the door at the same time. He knew who it was, but he didn’t know if he was emotionally capable of answering quite yet. 

“Keith?”

He looked down at his phone, heartbroken in the fact that James apparently now stopped telling him he loved him, too. 

He looked up as a head popped in through a small opening in the door, “Hey, you’ve been gone for a while. You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry...James called.”

He could see how forced Shiro’s smile was, he knew from the start that Shiro wasn’t a fan of his overly dramatic and overly needy boyfriend that only seemed to upset him more and more as time went on. 

“Hey, maybe this is a good time for me to give you your present.”

“Present? Shiro, you didn’t need to give me a gift, this party was plenty and I loved it so much.”   


He wore that cute smile on his face where the left side titled up and you can start to see the beginnings of a dimple on his cheek - one of Keith’s favorites, “Yeah but, I wanted to. Here, open it.”

Keith took the slender package and attempted to delicately unwrap the present from Shiro. He looked up when he saw what it was, confused and also mad at how much money Shiro must have spent on it.

“Before you say anything, it’s refurbished because I know you’d be upset if I bought you a brand new one.”

“Shiro, we’re broke grad students and you bought me a Kindle?”

Shiro moved to sit down on the bed next to him, thigh brushing against his as he quickly explained his reasoning.   


“Well, you said you missed your library at home and that your phone screen is hard to read on at night and was causing headaches. I also had Pidge download some of the books you mentioned you liked on it and our textbooks. They got them for free though and I’ve chosen to ignore how.”

He looked down at the sleek tablet in his hands and back up at his wonderful friend actively choosing to ignore the hitch in his throat and the tear running down his cheek, “Thank you Shiro, for so much more than this.”

“Of course, I’m always here for you.”

Keith (gently) threw the tablet on his bed to wrap Shiro in a hug, mainly to hide more tears forming in his eyes. It’s been an emotional couple of weeks, he needed the big bear hug Shiro reciprocated with. 

He felt warm inside when Shiro whispered  _ Happy Birthday  _ into his hair with his arms tightly wrapped around him. He felt happy in ways he hasn’t felt in a long, long time. 

A pang of guilt ran through him when he realized he really, really needed to talk to James soon. Christmas break couldn’t come quick enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if anyone likes Jeith? No hate to the ship, I really just needed a name for Keith's boyfriend. There won't be much interaction anyways, so if you're not enjoying that right now - don't worry too much ;) 
> 
> I know commenting can be hard and can require a lot of energy - emojis or emoticons, even a simple heart, means so much to me and are all 100% considered a comment that will bring joy to my heart!
> 
> As always, let me know if you ever need anything tagged. 
> 
> Come say hi!!  
> Twitter: nax_zela  
> 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!!!! 
> 
> This is unbeta'd because I knew if I waited any longer I was going to delete the entire chapter again. I still love Violet with my entire heart, so giving her a shoutout for being a wonderful friend.

“I should just give up, there’s no way I’m passing this exam and then there’ll be no way I’m passing this class and then there’ll be NO WAY I’M GETTING MY PHD AND THEN…”

“HUNK, Hunk, buddy, you’re okay. Take a deep breath with me. That’s it, in and out, in and out.”

Shiro watched as Keith got down on the floor with Hunk to help pick up his papers and books, and Pidge coming to lay on top of Hunk in what he assumed was a comforting manner. 

Hunk sighed, “Okay, okay, thanks, Keith. I’m just so nervous. I know I understand the material but I’m always bad at written tests. I don’t want to run out of time again.”

“I know, but that’s why we worked on tests strategies together all last week. And why we’re going over our past exams now. We’re learning the material AND how the exam is laid out. We’ll be fully prepared for this, I promise.” 

Shiro sighed at his overly stressed friends, “I think maybe now would be a good time to take a break, who wants to take a walk to get some coffee?”

“Oh, good idea! Let me go get my wallet, it’s on me this time.” Pidge got up from their perch on Hunk to run into their room. Keith and Hunk finally started getting up off the floor after his mini-meltdown. 

Finals were coming up and that meant everyone was more stressed and on edge than normal. So stressed that Shiro almost forgot to book his, Pidge’s, and Matt’s plane tickets home. He knew he volunteered to arrange the flights, but he was procrastinating so much that they almost had to pay a shit ton more money than originally planned. 

Matt was at the point where he wasn’t taking classes, just doing research, so he tried to avoid them as much as possible. Lance was off having a breakdown with his own cohort, same with Allura and Romelle, which lead Hunk, Keith, Pidge, and himself to suffer together. 

“Do you think they’ll curve the exam? I know they said they didn’t curve the first one but I’m 90% sure they did.” Hunk asked as he tried to maneuver around a group of undergrads that looked like they had to be 13 (even if they knew they were at least 18). 

“I fucking hope so, Zarkon is out to get me. Just because I’m kind of female presenting I got a lower score than Keith and I put the same thing.”

“He didn’t change that?”

“Oh he did, I got higher-ups involved, but I’m sure he’ll try and pull the same bullshit on the finals.”

“Well I will physically fight them if they do Pidge,” Keith said.

“Keith, you can’t fight a professor,” Shiro added.

“Yeah, watch me! No one messes with our friend.” 

They all laughed at Keith pretending to fight the air as they reached their favorite coffee shop. 

“So, 37 more hours and then we’re done with our first semester of grad school. I can’t really believe it’s flown by so quickly.”

Pidge walked by him and smacked his chest, “Oh, don’t get sappy on us now Shiro. We still need to pass to actually be considered finished.”

“Yeah, and you don’t even need to take the final to. Keith needs at least a 65. Hunk needs a 71, and I need a 62. We’re all going to be fine and enjoy some nice relaxing time with our families.”

“Besides Hunk.”

Shiro looked over, “Yeah, sorry bud.”

“It’s fine, me and Black are going to have a lovely time together catching up on all the shows I’ve had to ignore this semester.”

“I’m sure she’ll love it.” Shiro laughed as he picked up his coffee and followed his friend out.

39 hours later, they were all free. Shiro was currently over Home Base (the new nickname for Pidge, Hunk, and Keith’s place) helping Keith pack since he was heading out first the next morning. Pidge, him, and Matt weren’t scheduled to leave for a couple of days, Lance and Allura had already headed out since their final wasn’t on the last day possible. 

At the moment, Shiro was wondering why Keith was about to have a breakdown. 

“How many pairs of underwear do you need? You can do laundry when you get there, you know that right?”

“Ugh, fine yeah you’re right,” Keith said as he angrily shoved 4 of his 12 pairs of boxers back in the drawer with more force than necessary. 

“Hey, it’s okay to pack what you want. I’m just reminding you that’ll you’ll be home and have access to free laundry.”

Shiro looked up from his place on the bed when Keith didn’t respond, he was staring at the maroon pair of jeans he was in the process of folding, clearly lost on thought.

“Keith?”

He looked up, “Oh, sorry. Uhm, yeah it’ll be nice to have that luxury back for a while.”

The pained expression stayed on his face so Shiro started scooting himself closer to the end of the bed where Keith was.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Aren’t you excited to see your family? You couldn’t stop talking about your sister last week.”

“I am. It’s not that. I just…”

Shiro stood up when he paused and grabbed his shoulder to have him face him, “You can tell me if you’re upset about something, you know I’ll keep it between us.”

Keith sighed as he draped a hand over the one on his shoulder, “I haven’t heard from James in 2 weeks. I’m nervous to talk to him, but I  _ need _ to talk to him.”

Shiro’s heart started doing that painful twist thing it always did when he remembered that the man of his dreams was unfortunately taken. 

“You’ve been upset for a while, you don’t deserve to be this sad all the time. It’ll be good for both of you to talk about what’s been going on.”

Keith leaned his head on Shiro’s chest, something he usually only did when he was exhausted, “I just hope we can fix...whatever this is.”

Shiro tried not to sigh, “Yeah, me too.” It wasn’t  _ technically _ a lie.  
  


 

The next morning, Keith gave one last wave to Shiro (after a very tight, maybe too long of a hug) as he headed in the airport to go check in for his flight. 

Before falling asleep the night before after going on a long drive with Shiro’s arms wrapped around he made a plan - if him and James did break up, he wasn’t going to go running to Shiro right away...even if he already wanted to turn around and kiss his ridiculously cute face. 

While he wasn’t even sure Shiro would ever be interested in him, he knew in his heart this was different. He hasn’t felt this way for anyone else. Not even James and they’ve joked about marriage before. They’ve connected so well, so quickly, that sometimes he wondered if Shiro was his…

Nope. No. He didn’t care. It didn’t matter. 

**He. Did. Not. Care.**

But.

What if he was?

“Next!”

Fuck, “Sorry sorry.”

He had to pay attention to getting home or he was never going to figure any of this out.

7 and a half hours later he was waiting to be boarded off the plane and into the car that was most likely packed with as many family members as possible. He couldn’t help the smile growing on his face. He’s missed them, so much. 

The drive from the airport was, unfortunately, a long one, being that they lived almost completely out of the city near the woods. He spent the entire car ride between his Uncle Thace and sister Acxa being poked and prodded about what changed, if he’s lost weight, when he got more piercings, and when the last time he brushed his hair was. He mostly brushed it off instead of getting annoyed like he usually did because not too long before that he got to be hugged by his favorite woman in existence, who held him way too tight and called him her ‘little star’ even though he was a 26 year old man. 

Acxa still made fun of him, but he loved the term of endearment from his mother. 

The next several days flew by, he was either being pulled to help with family chores, taking Kosmo on a run, trying to spend time with EVERYONE, or trying to sleep for 4 seconds. It wasn’t until day 5 of being home, Christmas Eve, that Keith’s phone finally lit up with a text he’s been waiting for for a month.

_ James _ : hey, do you have time to meet me for breakfast?

The answer was yes, and Keith realistically has had enough time to mentally prepare himself for it, but he still paused. 

_ James _ : please

Keith rolled his eyes.

_ Keith _ : where and when

And that’s how he ended up at the back booth of their favorite dinner waiting for his ‘boyfriend’ that was now 10 minutes late on Christmas Eve when he could’ve been eating the pancakes his stepdad made for everyone.

He ordered a coffee and pulled up his twitter feed, one of the first tweets was a picture of Black Shiro had uploaded. She looked so pretty all cozy Shiro’s bed, laying out with the sunlight in her fur. He knew it must have been one Hunk sent him, which made it even cuter. Keith almost laughed about the fact that he was receiving more happiness from a picture of his friend’s cat than his boyfriend of 2 years. 

Another 10 minutes had passed before James finally wandered into the diner and sat down in front of him. He didn’t try to get up and James didn’t act put out that he wasn’t given a hello kiss. It looks like they’ve both made a decision then.

Now they just needed to discuss why.

James attempted a sincere smile as Keith took another sip of his coffee, “Hey, it’s great to see you.”

Keith placed his cup down and paused before answering, “Is it?”

James didn’t seem surprised by that response. 

“I understand if you want to break up. People drift apart for different reasons but you just...ignored me. Didn’t call me. Almost forgot my birthday? Why couldn’t you just be honest with me James? I’ve felt like shit for months because the person that supposedly loved me….”

“I met my soulmate.”

Keith’s heart stopped. Of course. 

_ Of fucking course _ . 

There’s no way he’d ever stand a chance to someone’s soulmate. 

“I know we’ve talked about it before. I know you said you’d understand but I...I wanted to make sure he’s what I wanted. I wanted to make sure before I threw away everything I had with you. Because I do love you, and you do make me happy, but I…”

“You want him.”

Keith stared out the window, he couldn’t handle the sadness on James’s face right now. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Like you said, we talked about it. I understand and respect your decision.”

“I do love you, Keith. I want you to be happy. I’m sorry that can’t be with me.”

When the waitress came over Keith ended up giving her a $10, told her to keep the change, and stood up. 

“He wants to meet you.”

Keith almost fell as he said it. He wants to  _ meet _ him? 

“He’s...he’s outside. In the car. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. But he knew the situation and wanted to talk to you.”

He shouldn’t. He didn’t have to. This was enough pain.

“Yeah, sure.”

Ryan Kinkade was unreasonably nice, unreasonably attractive, and apologized 15 times too many for something none of them could have controlled. In the end, Keith understood when he saw the way they looked at each other. They were ‘made for each other’ and all that fairytale bullshit. He gets it. 

His family taught him his entire life that finding your soulmate was unimportant, but he couldn’t help how jealous he felt when he saw two people so disgustingly in love. He’d deny to anyone that it’s all he’d ever wanted. To have someone look at him and not think of him as second best.

His sister, his cousin, and her two partners took him out drinking that night. Realistically, they knew the alcohol wouldn’t help, but he felt too shitty to participate in the usual family festivities. 

They all knew how weird his relationship with his mark was. His mother told him not to care, not to worry about the lack of one his entire life. Then he woke up from a nap one day at the age of 19 to a stabbing pain in his chest and the feeling of a blood red rose burning into his skin, right where his heart would be. 

Getting your mark late was uncommon, but not impossible and he’s felt nothing but pain in that place ever since. He didn’t care to meet his soulmate. He knew it wasn’t their fault that he was considered a ‘second option,’ a ‘replacement’ but it hurt nonetheless. 

As he sat on the couch watched his family open presents, his mom laughing happily with his stepdad as they took pictures of Kosmo in his sweater, his Uncle Thace looking ridiculous in a Santa costume, Zethrid trying to get Narti to pose with him, and his sister reaching under the tree to get the remainder of the presents - all he could think about was the fact that he would always be second best.    
  


 

The next morning he woke up later than usual. He had severe cottonmouth from the ridiculous amount of whiskey he snuck to his room the night before. His head was pounding and he still had on the ugly Christmas sweater Thace got him. He ignored his phone and decided puking and showering needed to come first, especially since he was positive he was going to get an earful from his mother about his immature behavior. 

He decided to take Kosmo for a walk, thinking the fresh air might help clear his head and lighten his mood. In the middle of his and Kosmo’s favorite route, his phone started to ring. He was going to ignore it until he saw Shiro’s dimpled grin on his screen; it was hard to deny that face.

He picked up, “Hey, Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas. It seems like you were busy yesterday since you never responded to the hilarious pictures of Matt I sent you.”

“Oh, yeah sorry. They were pretty funny.”

A pause. “...What’s wrong?”

Fuck. Shiro was too good at catching on to his moods.

He continued walking, watched Kosmo pick up a branch that was way too big for him to carry, “James found his soulmate.”

He almost missed the soft “oh” from the other end, “His name is Ryan. They officially started dating two days ago after we finally ended it.” 

“Keith…”

“It’s fine. We talked about the possibility of this happening. He just promised he’d tell me if it did. I’m more upset he waited so long to say anything.”

There was a long pause before Shiro’s answer, Keith took the time to familiarize himself with the woods around him. It was so peaceful, he wishes he could bring Shiro here. 

“You love him, it’s okay to be upset.”

“I know. Thanks, Shiro.” 

“Of course.” Keith heard a deep sigh come through the speaker, “You go back Tuesday, right?”

“Right, so only a few more days. I’m gonna probably turn off my phone for a while, try and enjoy the time with my family since I kind of ruined Christmas.”

“That sounds like a good idea. I’ll see you soon, call me before your plane takes off?”

“Yeah, will do. Bye, Shiro.”   


“Bye, Keith.”

There was silence all around him again, but this time it didn’t seem suffocating. It was weird how one person, who he hadn’t even known for that long, could completely change his bad mood into something peaceful with just the sound of his voice.

He looked down to where Kosmo was still dragging along a giant stick, “Race you back home?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this wasn't the worst! I've been having A Time with my personal life and mental health. I'm sorry this took so long, but until yesterday, I don't think I've written a single word in over a month. I'm like Keith right now, in desperate need of a hug (and a nap). *I am feeling a bit better though. 
> 
> Also sorry if you like Jeith, genuinely just need a bf for Keith and kind of enjoy the ship. I think he's a cool dude, no hate at all. 
> 
> I know commenting can be hard and can require a lot of energy - emojis or emoticons, even a simple heart, means so much to me and are all 100% considered a comment that will bring joy to my heart!
> 
> Let me know if you need anything tagged. 
> 
> Come say hi!  
> Twitter: nax_zela  
> 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want you all to know I succeeded in 1k May, and what I mean by that is I succeeded in writing a total of 1k in the entire month of May. Sometimes we just need to set realistic goals for ourselves? 
> 
> My beta Violet read the chapter and said:  
> "OMG SPEAKING OF KILLING ME  
> THESE TWO  
> YEs"  
> love her, also have fun reading!

“But I hate bars.”

“Keith, stop complaining. We’re all going out, as a family, you can’t be the only one not going with us. It’s against the rules.”

Shiro watched on trying not to laugh as Keith pouted attempting to button up his shirt while Lance listed all the reasons why he couldn’t not come out with the group for New Year’s. 

It was nearing the end of their break and Allura suggested a bar that throws a queer friendly New Year’s party every year, and since most of the group either liked bars and/or was queer, they (mostly) all agreed on the outing. 

Of course, Keith normally wasn’t so against going out, but it’s still barely been a week since his breakup with a partner of 2 years and he’d been a bit of a mess when he got off the plane and more or less collapsed into a sobbing mess in Shiro’s arms. He could tell he’d held it in until then with how long and exhausting of a cry it was. 

It left him heartbroken to see his friend like this, but he was honored Keith trusted him enough to be that vulnerable around him. 

They ended up picking up some ice cream, plopping on Shiro’s couch with Black in Keith’s lap, and binging almost every season of Lost Girl. It was fun and definitely helped, but Keith was still emotionally and mentally exhausted after several naps, several seasons, and several domino's cheesy bread orders. 

Here they were not even three days later getting ready to go get some dinner, play drag queen bingo, and try not to get too drunk before the ball dropped at midnight. Pidge and Hunk were already ready and playing video games in the living room, Matt and his date were arriving soon, Allura and Romelle we’re currently throwing on as much glitter as possible, and Keith was making desperate eye contact at him across the kitchen counter as Lance explained the importance of his participation this evening. 

Hunk, per usual, offered to drive one car since he didn’t particularly enjoy drinking and it was Shiro’s turn to be DD, so the rest of the group piled into his car; 30 minutes and three almost fights between Keith and Lance later, they pulled up to a suspiciously normal looking bar in the middle of an extremely loud street. 

They went in and Allura immediately zeroed in on a giant corner booth big enough to seat all of them. A waitress somehow took their order over Lance and Pidge arguing (Lance seemed to want to stick to his brand tonight) and the night began. 

Keith sat next to where he situated himself on the end of the booth if a quick escape or easy access to the bar was needed, whichever came first. Lance was already suggesting a round of shots while Matt and Pidge were deciding between copious amounts of nachos or the bar’s spicy wing challenge. Shiro was desperately hoping for the nachos. 

Drag queen bingo, as (somehow) always, ended up with Allura and Romelle on stage with the queens taking body shots and no one from their group winning even though Lance was 1 number off, again. 

It always starts off like seemingly normal bingo, but the more alcohol in Allura, the more Romelle encourages her to let her ‘freak flag fly’ and they always end up making their way to the stage to ‘help’ pick the bingo numbers. Shiro isn’t even entirely sure why his group is still allowed to play bingo here when they’re the ones who always mess it up. 

He is a little sad he didn’t win though, the prize was a large pizza, and he sure loves pizza.

Three drinks in (he thinks), Pidge was singing with Romelle, Matt was dancing with N7, and Lance was desperately trying to impress Allura. He was about to suggest getting some water for the table when Keith turned to him with the most gorgeous smile and asked: “You want to dance?” 

Now, Takashi Shirogane has great coordination. Prides himself in being very flexible. Is generally young and pretty agile. But in no way, under any circumstances, can he dance (ie. the zumba class).

But uh...Keith asked. And Keith never asks for anything. So, of course, he said yes. 

Keith dragged him onto the packed dance floor, full of other drunk college students luckily not paying attention to them. Shiro was about to start panicking about where to put his arms when Keith draped his around his neck, giving him no reason NOT to slide his - at a  _ respectable height _ \- around his waist. 

The music was loud but not overwhelming, the bar somehow had the air conditioning on in the dead of winter (beneficial to the hot bodies moving around in the center of it), and Keith was smiling brighter than he’d seen in so long. Dancing there with his best friend was one of those perfect moments in life you’d like to record and keep forever in your heart. It felt wild and peaceful all at once. The happiest he’s felt in so, so long.

He doesn’t know how long he stayed out there dancing with Keith, but they somehow cleared themselves a little space where they kept spinning each other around and giggling. It was a drastically different kind of dancing to all of those grinding bodies around him, but he was on top of the world right now. 

At some point a waitress walked around with test tube shots, he was about to say no when Keith gave him a challenging look, “Had too much to drink already, Shiro?” 

“Someone has to drive us home tonight.” 

“Oh, fuck I forgot.” He pouted before turning back to the waitress, “I’ll take his then.”

Shiro laughed, trying to cover up that he was becoming mildly concerned, “You sure you haven’t had enough already?”

“Pff, I’m fine. Dance with me some more.”

This time Shiro wrapped his arms around Keith it was more as a support than anything else. He knew Keith might be drinking for the wrong reasons tonight, but his wounds were still fresh; he decided he could let his friend have his fun now and confront him about it in the morning when he was sober. And for the record, he was DEFINITELY not sober right now. Shiro’s not sure he’s ever seen him this drunk, especially because Keith hasn’t stopped giggling in the past 20 minutes. Getting him to laugh more than a small huff is usually an accomplishment. 

Several songs and mid-dance conversations in, the DJ finally announced it was nearing midnight and time to start the countdown. Shiro looked around and wasn’t able to find any of their other friends. He looked down to Keith in his arms, a giggly smile on his face, and wasn’t too upset that he got him all to himself to ring in the new year. 

The entire bar started to count down from 30...

 

29

 

28

 

27

 

26

 

“Shiro.”

 

25

 

24 

 

“Yeah?”

 

23

 

22

 

21

 

“I really want to kiss you.” Shiro gasped, he  _ WHAT? _

 

“You WHAT?!”

 

20

 

19   


 

18

 

“I want to kiss you. So much.”   


 

17

 

16

 

“Keith...you’re drunk.”

 

15

 

14

 

He giggled. “I want to kiss you sober, too.”

 

“What about James? You just broke up.”

 

“Pfft. Fuck James.”

 

“Keith..”

 

Keith very ungracefully poked him in the chest and gave him a very stern face, “He’s never made me as happy as you make me.” 

 

8

 

7

 

6

 

“Ask me again when you’re sober.”

 

“Shiro…” He tugged on the front of his shirt, pulling him closer.

 

5

 

4

 

3

 

He tried to kindly push him away, “No, Keith.”

 

“No, no I...I think I’m going to be…”

 

1

 

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!”

 

*Bleehhh*

 

“Oh, fuck.”

 

 

After the chaos of Keith puking all over the dance floor, they were lucky Hunk was friends with one of the bartenders. He threw Shiro the keys and told him not to worry about the mess, just get Keith home. Pidge offered to come with, but he was worried Keith would try to continue their earlier conversation and thought against it. 

Shiro decided to bring him to his apartment since he knew where everything was that he needed to get Keith ready for bed. One hour later, and one very messy fully clothed shower in, Shiro finally got Keith to brush his teeth as best he could and drink a little water before he tucked him into his bed. Black curled up behind him (she likes to touch her butt to people as a means to cuddle) and Shiro just finally got his hair in a ponytail in case he puked again when Keith reached out his hand and grabbed his wrist. 

“I’m sorry.”

He sighed, “It’s okay, you had a rough week.”

“No, not for the drinking.”

Shiro scrunched his face in confusion, “What are you sorry for then?”   


“I don’t want you to think I don’t mean it.”

“Mean what?”   


“I want to kiss you. I do. You’re so special, Shiro.”

“Keith..”

“I had a plan, you know. I was gonna make telling you my feelings so special. Because you’re not just some rebound. You’re so so important, and amazing, and make me so happy. You deserve so much better. I ruined it.”     


Shiro was trying not to show Keith that he was shaking and his heart was racing, completely surprised by his feelings being returned. But Keith was drunk and vulnerable right now, he wondered if he’d even remember himself saying any of this to him.

“You didn’t ruin anything.”

“Promise?”

“I promise. We can talk about it in the morning.”

Keith smiled and pat his hand before immediately falling asleep. Shiro watched on in stunned silence for a couple more minutes before finally getting up to clean the bathroom and get the pull out ready. 

It took a long time for Shiro to fall asleep that night, not entirely sure whether he should be ecstatic or worried about Keith’s drunken confession. Sure, he’d finally gotten to the point where he could confidently talk about his feelings with Matt, but that didn’t mean he was ready for an actual relationship. It’d been...so long. He worried he might be the one to actually ruin what they had if they ever got together.

  
  


Shiro woke up to the sound of his coffee maker buzzing and toast popping out of the toaster. He was reminded of another time he was woken up to breakfast being made for him, though now he was the one on the couch. 

He slowly got up and made his way to the kitchen, not having to bother with announcing his entrance judging by the tension in Keith’s shoulder as he buttered his semi-burnt toast. 

“Morning.”

“Mornin’.”

“Did you get sick again during the night?” Shiro asked as he slowly approached his friend. Keith was still tense as he walked around the counter to lean his hip on it in an attempt to act casual. 

“No, I definitely got it all out on your bathroom floor. Thanks for taking care of me..”

“Of course, you would’ve done the same for me. And I know you needed a night to let loose...” 

The next 30 seconds of silence must’ve been the longest Shiro’s ever had to endure. Keith paused in his attempt to save his bread with an unhealthy amount of butter in exchange for glaring at the counter. 

Shiro was trying to figure out what to say when Keith finally broke the silence, “Please address it.”

“Address what?”

Keith threw the butter knife in the sink, “You know what! You’re acting too calm right now, so either you don’t care that I have feelings for you or you feel the same way and I need to know which because I haven’t been able to form any linear thoughts since I woke up and just saying this makes me feel like I’m going to vomit again.”

Shiro could see the way he was shaking, the genuine fear in his eyes as he practically yelled his panic into the complete silence of Shiro’s apartment. 

“Hey, hey. Take a deep breath, it’s okay. I do care, I just didn’t want to corner you when you were really sick last night. Why don’t we go sit down and talk about it.” He reached out to remove Keith’s hands from the counter before he accidentally broke something with his death grip, “okay?”

“Yeah, sure. Okay.”

Shiro settled on the couch facing Keith, one knee folded towards himself, and Keith, unsurprisingly, sat facing forward with the most uncomfortable looking hunch in his back, fingers furiously picking at his nail beds in a way that would surely make them bleed. His attempt to get the couch to swallow him whole was derailed by Black hopping up on his lap to momentarily distract him from his inner turmoil. 

“How much do you remember from last night?”

Keith sighed, “Most of it...I think. I got way too drunk and definitely didn’t eat enough. We were dancing, having fun, and...I think the extra shots really did me in.” 

Shiro tried not to laugh, “Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you giggle before.”

He got a glare in return, “Shut it.”

“What else do you remember?”

“Well, if you couldn’t already tell from my temper tantrum I just had back there…”

“How long have you had feelings for me?”

Keith started picking at a stray thread coming out from the couch, “Uhm...a while, I guess.”

Shiro, at this point, had no idea how he was remaining so calm. Sure, his hands were definitely a little sweaty and his pulse was absolutely rising, but his voice remained steady and his face (hopefully) calm and inviting and he listened to the man of his dreams confess that he’s had feelings for him. FOR HIM. 

“How long is a while?”   


“I don’t know, Shiro...since the fall? It’s not like I woke up one day and was like ‘holy shit I think I’m in love with my best friend.’ I can’t pinpoint it, it just happened naturally over time, I guess.”

“....love?”

“Uh..”

Keith’s face immediately turned red, he abruptly stood up, announced he was going to vomit again, and sprinted to the bathroom. Shiro wasn’t sure if it was a way to distract from his accidental use of the “L” word, but he was thankful for the moment to process nonetheless.  

He was...reasonably caught off guard. He can almost count on two hands how many people have told him they love him, and most of those people are the Holts and his family. Only one of his soulmates ever labeled their feelings love, and that was after over a year of living together. 

His therapist and Colleen would smack him for this but he’s always felt himself unworthy of love. It’s a bit hypocritical coming from someone who will constantly support those he cares about to do and be with who they love the most, but he’s never had much luck keeping around those who he loved the most. 

Keith might’ve said it by accident but love is a word that’s never been light for him. Some words carry more weight than others and for him, that’s one of them. 

It’s a bit frightening. Not because Keith might love him, but because he might love him back. 

After a more few minutes of anxiously petting Black and listening to Keith hack up anything remaining in his stomach he heard him call out for a toothbrush, “Under the sink, there’s a new pack.”

He got up to find where he might have some aspirin and tums. He was mostly moving on autopilot with how much his head was spinning with a million thoughts and concerns all surrounding the man in his bathroom. 

He stood at the door to the bathroom after he handed everything to Keith. He watched him finish brushing his teeth, combed out his knotted hair, and took all the meds his stomach would allow. It must be love if Keith looked this much like a fucking mess and Shiro still thought he was the most beautiful man he’d ever seen. 

“You said you had a plan.”

Keith stopped mid detangling. “I did,” He whispered.

“What was it?”

He put the brush down and started washing his hands, “I was going to ask you to come home with me for spring break. Meet my dog, see where I grew up, meet my family. There’s this lake, maybe I could’ve taken you swimming there. Bring a picnic basket with us, do something kind of cheesy. I don’t know,” he sighed, “I wanted to make sure you knew that you weren’t some rebound or random crush. I’m obviously in no condition to handle any emotions right now, but I thought by then...”

“Mmm. That sounds really nice actually.”

Shiro, not usually one for dramatics, took out his phone and opened a new browser, “So, how much are plane tickets?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things!!!! are!!!!! happening!!!! folks!!!!!!!! 
> 
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> Twitter: nax_zela


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spring break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Officially the longest update bbys, enjoy!!!

“You’re meeting his FAMILY?!”

Shiro cringed, “Please stop screaming. I called you  specifically  because I need a bit of calm maternal advice, not more panic.”

“Well honey, you can’t blame me for getting excited. You’re actually going to meet someone’s family, that you’re dating, for the first time in 8 years!”

“Yeah, I know. I’m freaking out. I need you to not freak out. BECAUSE I’M FREAKING OUT. Also, we’re not actually dating yet. I told you that last week.”

“Okay, okay, I remember. I’m calm. When are you leaving?”

“We leave next Sunday, and we’ll be there until Friday. He has a giant family and I’m nervous they’re not going to like me. I mean, not that Keith and I are that different but I’ve heard stories and...they’re a lot more out-going and laid back than I am.”

“You’re plenty out-going.  Maybe  not the most laid back, that would more be Matt, but I’m sure you’ll get along fine. Didn’t you talk to his dad on the phone before? I thought that went fine?”

“Yeah his stepdad, and I guess, but he also had very little emotion in his voice so I couldn’t read him well.”

Shiro plopped on the floor next to Black and sighed, “I’ve never cared this much before. I wasn’t even this nervous when I met Adam’s parents.”

“Well honey, you’re a wonderful man and you love their son, when they see that I know they’ll love you too.”

“Promise?”

“I promise. I also hate to cut this short but dad is about to burn down the house cooking dinner. Call me over the weekend, okay?”

“I will, thank you. Bye, Colleen.”

Shiro dropped the phone on the floor as Black crawled onto his stomach, “What do you think, beautiful? You think it’ll go well?”

He got a slow blink in response and dropped his head back on the floor, “Yeah, I hope so too.”

 

 

_2 months earlier_

_“You’re not serious.”_

_“I am. You told me how you felt, and I never got to respond,” Shiro moved closer into the bathroom to take Keith’s hand, “I can’t tell you how long it’ll be before I'm comfortable with a lot of the...more intimate parts of relationships, but I care about you. A lot. And honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to be with someone as much as I want to be with you. Which is a little scary and  maybe  a little too soon to say, but it’s true.”_

_“You want to...date me.”_

_“I do. But...not yet.”_

_“Wait, I thought you just  said…”_

_Shiro dared to reach up and cup his cheek, “you said it yourself, you’re not ready to be in a relationship and I’m a patient man. You need some time to take care of yourself first and I want to make sure you have that time.”_

_Keith finally looked up at him, “that makes sense. But in the meantime?”_

_“We can continue on how we’ve been, and when we go to your house for spring break…”_

_“I can take you on that date?”_

_Shiro smiled, “Yeah, you can take me on that date.”_

 

 

“Hey handsome, come here often?”

Shiro looked up from where he was glaring at two pairs of swim trunks. He was hoping one of them would give him a sign to tell him what pair was the right choice to bring to Keith’s.

“Oh, hey Lance. What are you doing here?”

“Hunk needed some shampoo and I needed new boxers. You getting those for your trip?”

“Yeah, I didn’t realize mine were back home. Any thoughts?”

Lance scooted around the display to see what pairs Shiro was contemplating.  One of the pair's red with white stripes down the sides, obviously chosen for the someone special he's traveling with, the other purple with a metallic shine to them.

“Isn’t Keith’s favorite color red?”

Shiro blushed, “... maybe .”

“He already admit his feelings to you, no need to be extra gay,” Lance said as he grabbed the trunks.

Shiro snatched them back and held them to his chest, pouting, “Hey, let me be gay in peace.”

“Get the purple, it goes better with your skin tone anyways. And they’re cheaper.”

Shiro sighed as he looked down at them, “You’re right.”

He put the shorts back and went on the hunt for boxers with Lance as they waited for Hunk to get out of the book aisle.

“You excited?”

 “Definitely excited. Also full of intense fear.”

“Why fear? He obviously already has intense feelings for you if he’s bringing you home to meet the fam on the first date.  And you’ve both been grossly romantic this semester even though you’ve claimed you’re ‘still very platonic, just staying friends for now’, ” Lance said in air quotes.

Shiro rolled his eyes as he picked up a very confusing pair of lace briefs, “It’s...less about him and more about my past. I know I haven’t been the most open, but it wasn’t great. My past relationships haven’t ended well and honestly, how happy  I feel being with Keith makes me nervous. And we’re not even together yet.”

He received an uncharacteristically serious look from Lance, “listen, you’ve already taken a big step in admitting your feelings and allowing yourself to feel them. You haven’t been dating but it’s obvious you’ve both been growing closer, not platonically. Keep going and trust your heart, I have a good feeling about you two idiots.”

Shiro looked back, a little confused but thankful for what Lance said. Lance clapped him on the back right before he went to take a running jump into Hunk’s arms. Shiro was convinced they were soulmates at this point and had decided not to tell anyone.

But he was right, everything so far had felt right. There wasn’t a moment with Keith that he hadn’t felt happier than he’d been in years. His heart felt whole around him, but sometimes he worried that it wasn’t just his heart.

 

 

“Okay, all checked in. We’re in seats 31A and 31B. Now we pray that whoever is in 31C doesn’t show up,” Keith said as he walked back to where Shiro was waiting with their bags.

“We’d be fine if you hadn’t drunk that trenta tea on the drive here.”

“I forgot teas makes me have to pee like a water fountain, I’m sorry!”

“Oh, it’s fine, because you’re sitting in the middle.”

“Wait, I thought we agreed I get the window seat?”

Shiro raised his eyebrows as he made his way to sit down at their terminal, “And when did I agree to that?”

Keith sat down next to him and gave him what he was sure was the best pouty face he could manage, “Please?”

“You’re cute, but if you’re going to pee 17 times on the flight then you’re not getting the window.”

Keith slouched in his seat and crossed his arms. Shiro couldn’t contain his laughter at the sight of the 25 year old man before him acting like a 4 year old.

 

 

7 hours, 2 very strange movies, and 3 bathroom trips later they safely arrived at LAX and were waiting for Keith’s family to pick them up. It was a toss up at this point to figure out who was the most fidgety of the two of them.  Shiro wasn’t sure if he was sweating because it was warmer than he thought in CA, or because he wasn’t prepared to get judged by Keith's family the entire week.

20 minutes into waiting, he gave up dealing with the screaming in his head and reached out to take Keith’s hand.  He smiled at the small gasp he heard, practically swooning at the blush gracing Keith’s cheeks from the display of affection.

“You have any idea what you want to eat for dinner?” he asked, trying to distract them both from their joint nerves.

“My uncle called before we left, he’s actually cooking a big dinner for everyone,” Keith rubbed the back of his neck, “Sorry, I forgot to mention it...I hope it’s not going to be too overwhelming at once .”

“It’s alright.  I think  I kind of prefer it. Like ripping off a bandaid,  just  meet them at once.”

He felt a small squeeze of his hand, “I’m glad you came.”

“Me too, I am genuinely excited to meet everyone. Especially Kosmo. You’ve hyped this dog up so much, I’ll honestly be disappointed if I’m not tackled the moment I meet him.”

Keith laughed, “Don’t worry, he’ll definitely take you out at full speed and then smother you in drool.”

“Keith!”

Shiro looked up to see two extremely tall men power walking towards them. One had hair that looked crazier than Pidge’s in the morning and a huge smile on his face.  The other, who he recognized as Keith’s stepdad, had a long braid down his back and sunglasses that reminded him of cheesy FBI movies.

“Hey squirt, looks like you missed another haircut!”  Keith’s Uncle Thace said as he dragged Keith into a giant bear hug, lifting him off the ground and  practically  shaking him.  After a moment's struggle, he finally put Keith back on the ground and did the same to Shiro, “And you must be the boyfriend. Welcome to California!”

He put Shiro down and Thace gave a full belly laugh at the shocked look that must’ve been on his face. It’s rare to find people taller or bigger than him, never mind someone that could manhandle him like that.

Kolivan stepped up with a scowl on his face and held out his hand for Shiro to shake, “I’m Keith’s stepdad, Kolivan. It’s nice to meet you in person, Shiro.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, sir.”

He grunted, “ Just  call me Kolivan.”

He smiled, “Sure, Kolivan.”

Kolivan looked over at Keith, “When was the last time you brushed your hair?”

Keith groaned, “Oh my god, enough about my hair. Someone help us with our bags, it’s time to leave!”

Shiro laughed as he watched Thace and Keith wrestle their way to the car while Kolivan threw his bag over his shoulder like it weighed  absolutely  nothing .

The car ride ended up going quickly, filled with embarrassing stories from Thace, some arguing from Keith trying to get him to stop, and questions for Shiro about where he’s from and what he’s studying. He doesn’t end up having to go into too much detail once they’re reminded that he’s in the same program (and all the same classes) as Keith and they “have heard plenty about how much homework he has .”

By the time they reach Keith’s house he’s finally relaxed and got to enjoy the views of the roads they’re passing by as much as the conversation in the car. He’s also enjoying that Keith hasn’t let go of his hand once since they started driving.

 

 

“Alright, the next person that steals a piece of garlic bread before we sit down is getting no dessert!”  Thace yelled out the kitchen while trying to shoo away Keith’s cousin Zethrid from the still cooling bread.

Since getting to Keith’s and  being ushered around the house to  be introduced to EVERYONE, Shiro had taken up residence near the corner of the living room seated right next to Kosmo, who’s “no couch” rule seems to rarely be enforced.

Meeting the family wasn’t as overwhelming as he thought it would be, especially since they were all so friendly and gave  ridiculously  tight hugs. Like Keith promised, Kosmo did attack him in the driveway, Krolia panicking immediately that he got hurt, but relaxed once he started laughing uncontrollably.

Krolia looked so much more like Keith than he initially realized. They had similar face shapes and hair, though Krolia’s had more of a purple hue to it.  When he finally got up off the driveway she pulled him into a warm,  motherly  hug and told him, “It’s so nice to finally meet the man Keith won’t shut up about !”

Keith, of course, got incredibly embarrassed  so he decided to give him a tour of the house before they went to the back porch where everyone was congregating.

Now, Shiro was watching a parade of people walk in and out of the house through the screen doors as dinner was being finished. The family had a beautiful dining table outside that had plenty of seats for everyone present and were busy setting it up. At this point, he’s asked eight times if they would like help and what he could carry but they’ve yet to let him help, Keith going as far as threatening to send him on the next flight home if he didn’t let them treat him like a guest.

Shiro continued to pet Kosmo as his stomach rumbled at the smell of the meatballs being spooned out of the sauce. It’s been so long since he’s had spaghetti not out of a jar and he was desperately trying to contain how excited he actually was.

Not too long after he was being ushered by Keith’s sister Axca outside to sit next to where Keith was helping his mom set up the last of the plates and a large salad. There was plenty of loud chatter and full belly laughs as plates were filled and wine was poured. Shiro never had a large family, but sitting around the table with Keith’s entire family felt so nice. Sure, dinner at home with the Holts was never quiet and calm, but it was night and day compared to this.

Midthought, Shiro felt a hand sneak onto his knee under the table, he looked up to see Keith biting off a piece of garlic bread, eyebrow raised. Shiro squeezed his hand and went on eating.

Some time later, after all the dishes were cleared and Keith’s Uncle Ulaz was asleep in the middle of the living room floor, Axca, Zethrid and her partners Narti, and Ezor, decided it was time to play a game of one sided twenty questions where they ask and Shiro apparently was supposed to answer.

Ezor leaned over the back of the couch, “So Shiro, you’re from Florida?”

“I am, grew up there all my life.”

“And how old are you?” Zethrid asked from across the room.

“30.”

“What are your intentions with my brother?”

“Uh..”

“Axca!” Keith  angrily  walked in, handed Shiro a beer, and scolded his sister, “I said not to make him uncomfortable.”

She started laughing from her place on the couch, “Yeah, yeah. I’m  just  curious. Relax.”

“I’d like to date Keith.”

Taken by surprise by the response - Keith  accidentally  spit out his beer, Ezor fell off the couch, and Acxa started laughing maniacally.

Shiro shrugged, “Well, I do.”

Keith, face red as a tomato, wiped off the rest of the beer, kicked Axca, and grabbed Shiro’s wrist as he told his family they were going to go to bed for the night.

Once upstairs Shiro felt a little bad about putting Keith on the spot like that, so once they shut the door he apologized. Keith immediately wrapped his arms around him and shoved his face into his neck. Confused, he hugged him back.

“You okay?”

He felt Keith sigh, “Yeah, this is cheesy but I never felt...butterflies like that before?”

Shiro smiled into his hair, “Was it a good feeling?”

“Yeah,” Keith pulled away, “I’m going to go brush my teeth, I’ll knock before I come back in so you can change.”

Shiro nodded and smiled as he watched him leave.

 

 

 3 am, Shiro woke up to the sight of Keith smashing his face into his pillow in a way that could only  be described  as adorable. He’d seen him sleeping plenty of times before, but the happiness of seeing how peaceful he looks while getting to sleep right next to him was an  entirely  new experience, one he’d never grow tired of .

Moments later, his bladder decided it was Time.  On his way back to Keith’s room he  was spotted by  Kosmo at the bottom of the stairs, and feeling restless anyways, found his sandals to take him out.

He’d never lived in a city, but the skies in the suburbs of Florida were a far cry from the beautiful forest that lined the perimeter of the family’s backyard. He could hear crickets off in the distance and felt a cool breeze wash over him as Kosmo pranced around the yard in search for an acceptable spot to make his mark.

Shiro had never thought  critically  about where he’d like to settle down one day, but sitting there outside feeling how peaceful it was, he thought somewhere more remote might be a good option to add to the nonexistent list.

About 10 minutes later Shiro jumped at the sound of the screen door opening.  Kolivan appeared in an almost  comically  blue fluffy bathrobe and camo crocs with a large glass of water in hand. He thought that he could wear a giant pink princess ball gown and the man would still be as intimidating as ever.

“Can’t sleep?” He asked Kolivan.

“Krolia kicked me, so now I’m up. Happens a lot. She doesn’t believe she does it.”

Shiro smiled, Keith’s done that before when they’ve accidentally fallen  asleep on the couch together.

Kolivan smirked, “Like mother like son?”

“Yeah, Keith doesn’t pay attention to where his limbs are a lot of the time.”

“He’s always been like that. He also has a gift where he can fall asleep anywhere at any time. He got that from his father.”

“He fell asleep on the table in the middle of the library once, and then one time on the floor in the student commons. One night at 4 am I actually carried him back to my car.”

Shiro got a real smile out of him that time, “Yeah, that’s our Keith.” He looked over at Shiro, face stern as always but with a touch of softness around the edges, “You love him, huh?”

Shiro turned back to the forest, hands gripping the railing. Love. It’s not something he’d ever thought he’d get to feel again. But that’s what he felt for Keith. Love.

“Krolia always says I’m a good judge of character, and I had a good feeling about you the moment I saw you talking with him at the airport,” he felt a rough hand pat his shoulder, “I hope it works out between you two. It’s been a while since he’s had someone in his life who wants him to be happy and asks for nothing in return.”

Shiro looked up a couple of moments later to find he was alone again on the porch.  It  eerily  felt like the conversation never even happened, but he could still feel the faint feeling of a callused hand on his shoulder.

Kosmo walked back up to him and brushed his leg, “Ready to go back in buddy?”

He walked in the house, shut the door, and followed Kosmo up the stairs.  His skin was still a bit chilly from standing outside, but on the inside he was full of warmth at the sight of Keith reaching over to his side of the bed in his sleep.

He lifted Keith’s arm as he slid in and  gently  pulled him over as he drifted back to sleep with a smile on his face and the man he loves in his arms.

 

 

Shiro woke up to someone  gently  shaking his shoulder and a very large wet tongue on his ankle.

“Hey sleepy head, I made some breakfast. Get dressed, I have a fun day planned for us.”

Shiro grunted and pried open one of his eyes to see Keith in a giant sweatshirt (that Shiro is almost positive is his) and a pair of biker shorts. His hair was in a messy bun atop his head with wild strands creating a halo around his head.

God, Shiro could get used to  being woken up like this.

“You got 10 minutes or I’m coming back up, mister.”

He huffed out a laugh, “Sir, yes sir.”

20 minutes later Shiro and Keith were out the door with car keys, two bagels, and Kosmo in his harness.  Keith refused to let him touch the backpack or cooler, so he got busy getting Kosmo in the back seat while he put everything in the trunk.

“Well, where are we off to?”

Keith gave a shy smile as he sat down in the driver's seat, “You’ll see.”

They were borrowing Keith’s sister's car, which was a very old Jeep Wrangler.  They took the top off before Shiro got up, and Keith looked beautiful as the breeze whipped through his hair as they drove.

The drive wasn’t too long and the hiking trail they pulled up to was gorgeous. He remembered talking to Keith late one night about a month ago about how much he loved being outdoors.  They talked about their favorite places to explore when they were kids, how they wanted to take each other there one day. Now Shiro got to experience one of Keith’s favorite places.

He smiled at Keith as they parked and hopped out.  Keith allowed him to carry the backpack, as long as he didn’t look inside, and they started a hike through some of the most beautiful trees Shiro’s ever seen.

They wandered up a trail for a couple of hours, stopping every so often so Keith could show him another picturesque view of the mountains around them. Shiro kept pestering Keith about reapplying sunscreen and at one point Shiro tripped over a branch and Keith laughed so hard he tripped over a branch and then they both laughed so hard they cried. He was having such an amazing time, and  eventually  he began to hear a rumbling over the distance. He looked up at Keith in question and only got a smile and a shrug in return.

Eventually,  the trees they were walking between opened up to a waterfall, encased in beautiful bushes and shining rocks. He was in awe of how  amazingly  stunning the seen was in front of him, and he felt so lucky to be there with Keith.

Keith took his hand and lead him down to the soft grass surrounding the water and began taking his pants off.

Shiro froze.

He never gets undressed in front of people, he  barely  let Colleen see him naked and she had to help him bathe when he lost his arm.

When he put the backpack down and started fiddling with his shirt Keith looked up and finally noticed his panic.

“Hey, are you okay?” He pulled his shirt back down from where it  was bunched  around his stomach, “I’m sorry, I should’ve asked first. We don’t have to swim if you don’t want to.”

“Uh, I. Uhm.”  He could feel himself start to sweat, his breaths getting faster as he thought more and more about Keith seeing him. The possibility of Keith seeing it. What would Keith think if he saw it? What if he had...

Keith walked over to him in  just  his shirts and boxers, “It’s okay. I promise, you don’t need to give me an excuse. It’s okay.”

He  loosely  held Shiro’s wrists,  gently  rubbing them as he tried to get his breathing back to normal. It took 10 minutes before he was able to get himself  mostly  calm again.

He looked at Keith.  Absolutely  beautiful, patient Keith.

“I want to go swimming. But I. I need to keep my shirt on.”

Keith smiled, “Of course. Whatever you need. My shirt actually has some weird UV protection  I think, took it from Axca. Since you’ve been so worried about me getting burnt I’ll keep it on too.”

Shiro closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “Thank you.”

Keith squeezed his wrists, “Come on, the water’s  probably  freezing.”

Shiro laughed, “Oh joy, I’m  absolutely  thrilled to go in now.”

They both took a running jump into the icy water. Kosmo came running after them, creating a huge splash when he entered.  They swam in the water for a long time, periodically splashing and dunking each other and swimming under the waterfall. It was the most fun Shiro had in a while. But  eventually  the water became too cold and they got out to dry off and eat a late lunch.

Shiro rolled out a blanket as Keith got out all the food he packed for them. Two roast beef sandwiches, two lemonades, a big bag of hot cheetos, and a bunch of pineapple and watermelon. Almost  all of  Shiro’s favorite foods in one bag, Keith was  ridiculously  sweet.

They ate in silence for a bit,  periodically  commenting on something around them or asking a question about the homework they’re supposed to be working on during their break. At one point Shiro started feeding Keith watermelon while he tried to tell him a story about the time Axca and him got lost in the woods and they had to wait 13 hours until they were finally found. Shiro laughed at how Keith flailed his arms all around to dramatize the tale as much as possible, using Kosmo as a fill in actor for Axca during the story.

After a bit, Keith hooked up his speaker and put on one of their playlists they made together near the end of last semester. He called it their “feels” playlist for when they needed something with a little more emotion, it ended up being their calm studying playlist but held a surplus of borderline romantic music within .

He picked up a couple more pieces of pineapple, feeling spoiled for the hundredth time today by all of the nice things Keith had planned that were so obviously specifically catered to him. Keith looked over at him, seeming nervous for the first time all day, “Hey, would it be too cheesy if...I asked you to dance?”

Shiro could feel himself blushing as he nodded yes. Keith reached out his hand to help Shiro up and pulled him into his arms, wrapping them around his middle. Shiro draped his over Keith’s shoulders as they started to sway in the soft grass. Kosmo laid down on the blanket, and the sun began to set in the distance behind the trees.

The song changed to “I Get to Love You” by Ruelle and he felt Keith start to giggle where his head was resting against his chest.

“A little  overly  romantic, huh?”

Shiro  dramatically  held him closer, “Sh, don’t ruin the moment.”

Keith giggled more, “Shiro, I can’t breathe.”

“Shhhh, feel the romance.”

Shiro finally let Keith pull back a little and they both broke into laughter as they continued to move together in the grass.

Near the end of the song they continued to pull each other closer, two giant smiles on their faces as their limbs  were painted  in soft oranges and pinks. Shiro’s hands came to tangle in Keith’s hair, now running down his back in a curly mess from the water.  He watched Keith close his eyes as Shiro leaned his forehead against his and breathed in the fondness he felt for the man in his arms.

They were  barely  moving as the song came to a close and the sky continued to get darker.  A new song must’ve played, but neither of them cared  as to  what it was, too focused on their breaths mingling and their shared warmth.

“Shiro?

“Yeah?”

“I  really  want to kiss you.”

Shiro smiled, thinking about the time he heard that before. But that was months ago. Keith was sober, he’s healed from his breakup, and he’s more than proven he’d respect Shiro’s needs. He could cry thinking about how perfect this moment was.

“Okay.”

He felt Keith smile, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He wasn’t sure who leaned in first, but one minute they were smiling and the next Shiro’s mouth connected with soft, warm lips.

He realized in that moment that for 30 years his world had been off axis, spinning in every wrong direction. Kissing Keith is what he’s always needed to set it straight. This kiss is all he’s ever needed.

No, Keith.

Keith is all he’s ever needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *THROWS TABLE* they did it!!!!! I hope the transitions weren't too weird, I wrote this chapter differently than others, so I feel kind of weird about it even though I've edited it 17 million times.
> 
> Also, I'm participating in a writing camp this month and will be working on another fic during, so most likely no new chapter until Aug. 
> 
> I know commenting can be hard and can require a lot of energy - emojis, emoticons, a simple heart - means so much to me and are all 100% considered a valid comment that will bring joy to my smol gay heart 
> 
> As always, feel free to let me know if you ever need me to tag something!
> 
> Come say hi!  
> Twitter: nax_zela


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